Humor

Tonight is the longest night of the year. Which makes my dog very happy. Why?

Dogs understand a lot. They get meaning from our body language, inflections, and even our words. But if we’re creative, we can hurl insults at them when they act like stinkers without hurting their feelings. I have a few choice favorites.

Isn’t everything better with dogs? Okay, maybe not peanut butter sandwiches. I’ve eaten so much of Honey’s hair I’m coughing up fur balls. But everything else is better with dogs. Especially holiday songs.

Raising a puppy is like running a triathlon. But you’ll need a different set of skills. To run a triathlon, you must know how to drink while running, how to repair punctures, and how to keep going even when you’re in pain. Hey, come to think of it, those are pretty good puppy raising skills …

Everywhere I look, someone is offering me advice about my dog for Thanksgiving. How to travel with her. What to feed her so she doesn’t get sick. How to groom her for holiday pictures. But no one has offered advice about the most important topic. Should I invite my dog to Thanksgiving dinner?

My dog is a pacifist. She’s a gentle soul who loves everyone. She wouldn’t harm a fly. But one critter in our neighborhood brings out the worst in Honey. I call him Death Kitty 2000.

  Let’s see the rest of the quote: Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need—a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe, or two, enough to eat and enough …

I’m not usually a big spender. Except when it comes to my dog. And even then, I don’t spend money on coordinating leashes and collars, pretty clothes, or doggy vacations. But I do spend it on toys. And over the years, I’ve found some pretty compelling reasons for you to get your dog a toy …

Every morning starts the same way. “What are you going to write about on the blog today, Brain?” “The same thing we write about every day, Pinky. How dogs are taking over the world.” But sometimes inspiration fails me. Despite four attempts, I have yet to assemble a coherent thought. And it’s November, when I …