Training & Socialization

It happened again. With a hand signal, I asked Honey to lie down on the ground quietly. The person I was talking to said the one thing guaranteed to piss off a golden retriever owner: “Aww, aren’t goldens great? My dog would never do that.” Arggghhhhhhh!

Has your dog’s recall gotten a little lazy? Have you asked yourself if you’re like the dude with chili stains on his t-shirt belching on the couch who complains that his wife doesn’t like to have sex with him? Because you have to be attractive to your dog if you want her to come to you.

Apparently yesterday was National Puppy Day. It must be true because I saw scads of puppy pictures on Facebook. But I think everyone was off by a day. Today is the true puppy day. Because it was five years ago today that Honey came to live with us.

Supposedly people are smarter than dogs. But I wonder if that’s true. I feel dumber than my dog all the time. And it’s a fact that sometimes our dogs train us.

When you face a challenge with your dog, plenty of people know just what to do. Everyone becomes an amateur dog trainer suggesting dozens of dos and don’ts. And even if some of the advice is wise, it’s hard to take it all in. But stories catch our attention. Stories teach us. And telling stories …

My dog Honey is a Mary Poppins pup—practically perfect in every way. It’s the result of getting the absolute best start in life, years of training, and just dumb luck. But you know why she’s just “practically perfect?” Because people keep screwing up my dog.

Some popular “trainers” insist that dogs are like wolves. And that we must use what we’ve learned about wolves when training our dogs. Have they ever seen wolves and dogs side by side? Because if they had, I don’t think they’d be saying dogs are like wolves.

The puppy is coming! The puppy is coming! Thank goodness I’ve assembled a foster puppy survival kit that will make life so much easier. Of course, there are still a few extras I’d love to have.

I’m kinda gullible about people. If someone tells me something, I tend to believe it. After all, why would they lie? Thanks to a good liberal arts education, I don’t have the same failing when I read something. And it’s a good thing. Because I got a shocking email recently that set off my BS detector …