Why do I need to know what to do if I meet a bear?
I live downtown in a small city (without bears). I’ll be moving aboard a boat next year (and don’t plan on sailing to Alaska any time soon). And I’ve never glimpsed a bear outside of a zoo.
But then I dug a little deeper…
Meet Honey The Bear
Apparently I’ve been sleeping with a bear for quite some time. A bear who hogs the blankets. A bear who licks my pillow. A bear covered in long, golden fur with a wagging, floofie tail.
Yes, Honey is not a golden retriever. She’s a bear.
Just check out this quote from the Get Bear Smart website:
Bears[Dogs] do have a strong sense of personal space – a distance that varies from bear[dog] to bear[dog] from which they won’t back down.
And from the same source:
If you end up inside that defensive perimeter… you are likely to experience a combination of highly intimidating behaviors….
Honey’s highly intimidating behaviors include:
- a rear toenail up the nostril
- occasional flatulence from a posture most likely to disperse the odor in a wide direction, and
- a showering of dog hair that can result in death if one breathes in too deeply while sleeping.
Fortunately, with Honey on the bed, no one gets much sleep. Except Honey.
What To Do With The Bear In Your Bed
The most common advice for dealing with bears is to avoid them. And if you can’t do that stand still, talk in a calm voice, and back away slowly.
I can’t avoid Honey in bed since my husband loves having her there. I could try backing all the way into the guest bedroom. But I suspect Honey would just follow me.
We’ve had to take more extreme measures: planned relocation.
First, we tranquilize the dog with a peanut butter cookie. We follow-up with some crumbled cookies to lure Honey the bear into her crate. Once she’s inside, we shut the door and immediately go to bed.
That solves the problem for a short time.
Until the foolish human (my husband Mike) tries once again to habituate Honey the bear to human settlements, namely the bed.
Hey, come to think of it, that’s another solution to bears in my bed. I could lure the husband into the crate with a cookie and let Honey sleep on the bed.
At least she doesn’t snore.
Pet Bloggers And The Best Gifts Ever
The Pet Blogger’s Gift Exchange is going strong with bloggers sharing compliments, encouragement, and link love with each other. To check out some awesome sites, visit the linky here.
If you’ve been matched with a blogger, don’t forget the linky closes on January 6.
Can’t wait to see your posts.
Your Turn: Do you have bears in your bed? What’s your wildlife management plan?