Launch a Smear Campaign
But cleaning up after your dog using poop bags with a presidential candidate’s face on them? That’s just being a good citizen.
Thanks to Smear Campaign Dog Poop Bags, you don’t have to wait until you’ve finished walking your dog to express your political opinions. Just do it while cleaning up poop.
Put your hand into the red bag with a picture of Mitt Romney or the blue bag with a picture of Barack Obama, grasp the poop with your covered hand, pick it up, and seal the bag, trapping the visage of the candidate you love to hate with the smelly sign of your protest.
One of the candidates said or did something you find particularly offensive? Feed your dog a block of cheese before your walk. Better yet, borrow your neighbor’s Newfoundland to make sure you have a large enough “protest” to scoop into your bag.
Divided in Politics; United in Dogs?
I don’t see myself ever buying such a thing. I’m not fond of either presidential candidate. But rather than buy Smear Campaign bags in both red and blue, I’ll just show my Green leanings by buying Flush Doggy poop bags.
But I’m sure plenty of people have gotten Smear Campaign poop bags as joke gifts or for their own amusement. And it’s got me wondering: can we capitalize on the political divisions in this country to encourage good behavior on behalf of animals? If political poop bags get both Republicans and Democrats to clean up after their dogs, what other social goods could we encourage?
How about marketing low-cost spay and neutering programs as affordable birth control to Democrats, pro-life policy to Republicans, and population control to Greens? Could we convince Libertarians that positive reinforcement dog training allowing doggy choice is preferable to forceful methods?
When I check out a wacky pet product I ask myself:
- is it useful?
- is it affordable?
- is it good for dogs?
I don’t usually have to ask, is it dangerous to democracy?
What do you think? Are Smear Campaign poop bags offensive? Typically American? Good clean fun?