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Blog More... Humor The Migratory Patterns of the Fuzzy Bellied Honey

The Migratory Patterns of the Fuzzy Bellied Honey

January 6, 2012 //  by Pamela

Shhhhh. Be very quiet.

Golden Retriever on bed
With a wider range while the sun is up, the Fuzzy Bellied Honey is less dangerous in the day time.

We have a rare opportunity to study the nightly migration of the Fuzzy Bellied Honey from the corner of the bed to the middle.

Yes, I know she looks cute curled into a ball near that pillow. But beware. The drive to migrate to the center of the bed is a powerful one. She will not let anything get in her way.

Get out your night vision lenses. I think she’s making her move.

See how effortlessly the Fuzzy Bellied Honey moves closer to the sleeping subject who shares her habitat? A simple stretch before resting her head on the subject’s leg has her one third of the way to her objective. And notice how the subject is lulled into complacency by her cuteness.

Surely this is the result of millions of evolutionary adaptations making the Fuzzy Bellied Honey supremely suited to this migration.

Oh no. We missed it. With super stealth, the Honey managed to work her way down to the knees of the sleeping subject before rolling over on her back and entering a full splay position with paws, ears, and tail taking up space over most of the bed.

Amazing! She did all that without attracting our notice. No one has ever witnessed that move. The first person to capture on film the Fuzzy Bellied Honey’s move into the full body splay will be famous.

Golden Retriever puppy in crate.
Even at this young age, the only way to sleep safely with a Fuzzy Bellied Honey is when she's in a sturdy cage.

Look. I think the sleeping subject has finally realized the danger she is in. She’s clutching at the covers and pulling frantically. She’s trying to move her legs into a more comfortable position.

But it’s over. The Fuzzy Belly has won. Nature is a cruel ruler and not all will survive her reign.

Category: Humor, More...

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. 2 brown dawgs

    January 6, 2012 at 7:54 AM

    Haha..well I have a small kitty who has similar patterns, if you can believe it!

    • Pamela

      January 6, 2012 at 9:48 PM

      Edie of Will My Dog Hate Me swears 15 pound Frankie magically transforms into a massive weight upon falling asleep. Perhaps it’s the same with your kitty?

  2. Pup Fan

    January 6, 2012 at 8:53 AM

    LOL… I was forced to read this post out loud in my best nature show narrator voice, and it was just fantastic. πŸ™‚

    • Pamela

      January 6, 2012 at 9:48 PM

      You and my husband did the same thing. I wish you had recorded it. πŸ™‚

      • Pup Fan

        January 8, 2012 at 10:52 PM

        Now that would have been funny. πŸ™‚

  3. Sam

    January 6, 2012 at 9:31 AM

    We have a nightly attack by one, and my husband is always the victim!

    Sam

    • Pamela

      January 6, 2012 at 9:48 PM

      Lucky him. πŸ™‚

  4. Jodi

    January 6, 2012 at 10:21 AM

    I don’t mind them on the bed so much, it’s when he Sampson lies on the covers and I can’t cover my ass!

    • Pamela

      January 6, 2012 at 9:50 PM

      Long johns!

  5. RumpyDog!

    January 6, 2012 at 11:20 AM

    Jen says she knows that move…. cats are quite adept at it also.

    • Pamela

      January 6, 2012 at 9:50 PM

      I was always told cats preferred to sleep on heads. πŸ™‚

  6. Kristine

    January 6, 2012 at 12:21 PM

    Hahaha! Even though I don’t share a bed with my dog, I can still relate. Shiva has a terrific knacks for taking over the entire couch. Before I know it, I am huddled in a corner, wondering what happened.

    The photo of Honey in her crate as a puppy is adorable!

    • Pamela

      January 6, 2012 at 9:52 PM

      Actually, Honey doesn’t sleep in our bed either. This is a behavior that happens when Mike works late and we’re too tired to wait up for him.

      As soon as Mike gets home, Honey goes in the crate. No wonder everyone calls him the smart one.

  7. Jan

    January 6, 2012 at 12:31 PM

    You humans don’t even have a chance against such a force. LOL

    • Pamela

      January 6, 2012 at 9:52 PM

      So much for being at the top of the food chain. πŸ™‚

      I guess we’re at the bottom of the cute chain.

  8. Amy@GoPetFriendly

    January 6, 2012 at 12:39 PM

    She’s ridiculously cute. You guys never stood a chance.

  9. Roberta

    January 6, 2012 at 1:17 PM

    Indeed, the Force is strong in the Fuzzy Bellied Honey – and the Smooth Coat Justus…

    This does need to be read aloud! LOL.

  10. lauren

    January 6, 2012 at 4:26 PM

    that exact description is why we were so hesitant to let desmond in the bed on a regular basis. he does not give a hoot that it is our bed or our pillows–or our faces that he is punching with his paw or sticking his butt in. he always starts at the foot of the bed and ends up in between our heads while we’re basically falling off the bed. what nerve!

  11. The Lady

    January 6, 2012 at 7:10 PM

    Um, so…maybe I should be glad my two aren’t intrested in the bed! LOL

  12. Julie

    January 6, 2012 at 7:12 PM

    So funny – I read this with my best Australian narrator voice πŸ™‚ Luckily, our fuzzy bellied creature isn’t very interested in sleeping in our bed . .but the long-legged visitor is!! Fuzzy bellies always win πŸ™‚

  13. Aria Milan

    January 6, 2012 at 8:39 PM

    A very fine specimen of anthropologic research. Like the panda, the world may have to be convinced that the Fuzzy Bellied Honey exists and isn’t just a myth…. hmmm

  14. Kolchak & Jodi

    January 6, 2012 at 9:59 PM

    Is it wrong that I read this entire thing in my best english-documentary narrator voice? My other half thinks I’ve lost it. LOVE LOVE LOVE it! I don’t know how you sleep with a fuzzy-bellied Honey. I swear, as soon as the lights go out Koly morphs into an elephant. How can one little dog take up SO MUCH SPACE?

  15. 24 Paws of Love

    January 6, 2012 at 11:53 PM

    The maneuver is even more sly when they work as a team! πŸ™‚

    Great post!

  16. houndstooth

    January 7, 2012 at 12:21 AM

    Bwaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha! We have a Smooth Bellied Bunny here who is just as stealthy! This one had me laughing out loud!

  17. Heather

    January 7, 2012 at 1:54 AM

    If you’re not living on the edge then you’re taking up too much space. πŸ™‚

  18. HouseTalkN

    January 7, 2012 at 8:50 AM

    We lost our golden 3 years ago and when we got our Christmas puppy this year, we vowed to keep this pooch off the furniture, out of our beds and secretly vowed to not be so in love with this pup. Needless to say, we have failed on all counts.
    There is nothing sweeter than waking up to that sweet puppy breath and seeing those big brown eyes!
    Kerry at HouseTalkN (With new puppy obsessed category, “DogTalkN”)

  19. georgia little pea

    January 7, 2012 at 9:54 AM

    The Fuzzy Bellied Honey – hahaha!

    they do tend to take up more and more space. these days, i’m pushed with my back against the wall while Ms Pea sprawls over the bed and snores next to my head. thank goodness she’s only allowed up on the bed after 5 [yeah, we’re working on teaching her how to tell time].

  20. melF

    January 8, 2012 at 4:14 PM

    So funny! I love how she sneaks up into her position. Amazing how she does that.

    My sister used to nanny for a family and now she watches their dogs for them when they go on vacation. Their youngest dog is also a Golden and he absolutely loves sleeping on the bed, but he sleeps on your head! No kidding. He prefers sleeping on your pillows and thus ends up on your head. I think I would choose Honey’s migratory patter over Cosmo’s any day. πŸ™‚

    BTW – I am lucky enough to have no dogs sleeping on my bed. They prefer the floor or in Daisy’s case, her kennel. Now if only I could stop the migratory patterns of my cat!

  21. Elizabeth

    January 8, 2012 at 8:51 PM

    They are elusive in the dark, those fuzzy bellies. πŸ™‚ I’ve only had the mixed blessing of knowing felines with the same nocturnal need to migrate toward warm nooks and crannies, and woke with many a stiff leg/back for it. Cats milk that whole not getting crated thing for all its worth.

    Poor sweet Honey. πŸ™‚

  22. Greyhounds CAN Sit

    January 10, 2012 at 3:57 AM

    While I didn’t read this post out loud (it’s bad enough I talk to my dogs!) I did read it in my head in my best David Attenborough accent:)

    Your Fuzzy Bellied Honey is good, but my Bare Bellied Beryl has got a trick Honey might like to use some time. One night I woke up thinking I’d had a stroke. The left side of my face felt very heavy and I couldn’t move it. Then I realised Beryl had a paw planted firmly on my cheek and was pushing me with it, lol. I make sure I start out with at least 50% of the bed because I know I’m going to end up with 5 – 10% of it:) She hasn’t pushed me onto the floor yet but it’s been a close call some nights. She can still be curled up into a ball not much bigger than a pillow.

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