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Blog More... Humor The Dog Lover’s Wardrobe

The Dog Lover’s Wardrobe

April 18, 2013 //  by Pamela

Honey the Golden Retriever on a walk.
I’m rockin’ this hemp leash. I can’t believe I’m walking with someone so unfashionable.

When I adopted my first dogs, the high heels went deep into the closet along with my silky dresses and easily snagged sweaters. So what does a dog lover wear?

A Look at the Dog Lover’s Wardrobe

Here’s what you’ll find in my wardrobe now:

Pockets – A girl’s gotta have some place to keep poop bags, a ball, tug toys, and dog treats.

Waterproof Shoes – Even though I have a backyard, Honey insists I keep her company when she has to relieve herself in the rain. Misery loves company?

Crotchless Panties – I used to think I was good at puppy proofing the houseβ€”no chairs with bite marks, broken remote controls, or shredded garbage. But I forgot to guard my dirty laundry from hungry foster puppies.

Colorful Clothes – In my closet you’ll find pants in Golden Retriever Cream, tops in Golden Retriever Beige, sweaters in Golden Retriever Taupe, and skirts in Golden Retriever Gold. All the colors of the (Golden Retriever) rainbow.

Gloves with Cut Out Fingertips – What good are gloves if they keep you from handing out a treat?

My dog lover’s wardrobe will never win me a prize in a beauty contest. Luckily, Honey is pretty enough for both of us.

Your Turn:Β How did your wardrobe change when you got a dog?

 

Category: Humor, More...

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Caren Gittleman

    April 18, 2013 at 10:01 AM

    I think I was a bum even before getting a dog πŸ™‚

  2. Sue at The Golden Life

    April 18, 2013 at 10:12 AM

    Pamela, you’re too funny! When I had my poodle, I didn’t have to make any wardrobe changes because, as you probably know, purebred poodles don’t shed. I wasn’t ready for the onslaught of Golden Retriever hair when we brought Callie home. So, I just invested in a bunch of different size lint rollers…small ones for the glove compartments of my car and Sam’s truck, medium ones for every room in the house, and special ones for the furniture. Now that I’m not working, I just don’t worry about it. I wear jeans (or shorts or cutoffs) & tee shirts and my motto is “no outfit is complete without dog hair”. When I wear my black jeans, I just grab the lint roller before leaving the house or car. Like you, I’ll never win a beauty contest (or enter one for that matter), but Callie and Shadow (and Ducky, too!) Are pretty enough for all of us.

  3. Sue at The Golden Life

    April 18, 2013 at 10:21 AM

    PS I have to go out in the rain with Callie, Shadow, and Ducky, too. Most times, Callie won’t even go near the backdoor if it’s raining hard, but the other two couldn’t care less. But right now we have too many places where Ducky could squeeze through and get out, so I have to put her on the leash. Sometime this spring/summer, hubby & I plan on blocking those spots with cinder blocks; but I might still keep Ducky on her leash so I can catch the little demon when I need to.

  4. SlimDoggy

    April 18, 2013 at 10:29 AM

    How we can all relate. The biggest change was the pockets – had to have a pockets. Our first dogs were dark, so the hair – while there – wasn’t as apparent. Jack is a yellow, so it’s much more apparent. I’ve leearned to just ignore it – that becomes easier with age πŸ˜‰

  5. Roxy the traveling dog

    April 18, 2013 at 10:30 AM

    I think my wardrobe just got a little hairier. I’m a jeans and T-shirt kinda person anyway.

  6. Human Rescues Dog

    April 18, 2013 at 10:37 AM

    Hilarious and right on point, as always! You know, there was a time, pre-dogs, when I was very stylish. But my priorities just changed – now I look at the golden hairs on my black trousers with joy, because it reminds me of my beautiful Hannah. I, too, have a lot of ‘Golden Retriever Creams’; but to mix it up, I have a few ‘Chocolate Labrador browns’ as well πŸ™‚

  7. Vicki Cook

    April 18, 2013 at 11:03 AM

    Dogs do love the chew on dirty underwear don’t they? My daughter seems to lose at least one pair a week. I agree with you on the waterproof shoes. Even though we have a backyard, it’s not fenced in and Zora won’t “go” without company anyway. So I’m out traipsing around the backyard in rain, snow, sleet and hail! And my wardrobe not only needs to be color coordinated with the dog (think German Shepherd colors), but also six cats (one black, two gray/white, and two orange/white).

    • Vicki Cook

      April 18, 2013 at 11:55 AM

      Oops – my count was off! Make that three orange/white cats.

  8. Long Life Cats and Dogs

    April 18, 2013 at 11:06 AM

    πŸ˜€ I think we all understand, although I’m pleased to say I managed to avoid the crotchless panties. So funny πŸ™‚ Honey is most certainly beautiful enough to make up for any wardrobe changes you’ve had to go through.

  9. Jodi

    April 18, 2013 at 11:37 AM

    Delilah doesn’t eat the “dirty” clothes, but she does love to roll in them. Why she wants to smell like Grandma’s crotch is beyond me.

    With one dark and one light furred dog I’m basically screwed in the clothes department. One way or another I’m wearing fur.

  10. Clowie

    April 18, 2013 at 2:34 PM

    Brilliant! We’ve avoided the crotchless panties, but some socks gained air-conditioning vents in them. All dark clothes made their way to the back of the wardrobe to only come out when absolutely necessary!

  11. Jessica@YouDidWhatWithYourWeiner

    April 18, 2013 at 2:44 PM

    I am glad to know that Goldens eat underwear too. I had to buy stock in Vicotira’s Secret when I got Chester πŸ™‚

    I was never a purse carrier. Now I am…but I call it the poop purse. It has a lot of separate pockets and one of them is designated to hold the poop in a bag until I get to a trash can πŸ™‚

  12. Melissa Medford

    April 18, 2013 at 2:59 PM

    I loved reading all your posts. My husband and I said we are buying stock in handled sticky rollers. I don’t leave the house without one and there is one in every car and room in the house. Have you noticed some fabrics just attract hair and you never know until you get home?
    Kind regards, Melissa

  13. Molly The Wally

    April 18, 2013 at 3:06 PM

    Your are so spot on. Peeps has doggy clothes and good clothes. As I am black and tan and Pip is white and a little black there is no colour solution. Of course when I see the peeps in non doggy clothes I jump allover her. It’s a dog thing. Have a terrific Thursday.
    Best wishes Molly

  14. Maggie

    April 18, 2013 at 3:09 PM

    Pockets for sure!! I haven’t changed my clothes too much, but I have gotten in the habit of keeping a stash of lint rollers around – one in my bathroom, one in the car, one in my purse. Although, I’m pickier about my jeans now. I’m on the hunt for the perfect pair of dog-walking denim, which I haven’t found yet.

  15. Dawn

    April 18, 2013 at 3:24 PM

    LOL! What do you do about your wardrobe if you have one light colored dog and one dark colored dog? Answer: live with it. The benefit is if anyone asks, I get the opportunity to tell them about Maya & Pierson. πŸ™‚

  16. Jan K

    April 18, 2013 at 6:18 PM

    Hmmm…fashion does go out the window when you get dogs. I look best in black but I can only wear it if I put it on right before I go out the door! There are certain materials that just seem to suck the pet hair right onto them, and it won’t even wash out!….if I inadvertently end up with something in that material, it ends up going in the Good Will bin (with hopefully not TOO much fur attached).
    I also need waterproof shoes because they are easy to rinse off with the hose…in case I accidentally step in something in the fenced in yard. πŸ™‚

  17. TheDailyGolden

    April 18, 2013 at 7:06 PM

    Love this! Shariing!

  18. Peggy

    April 18, 2013 at 9:39 PM

    L.L. Bean flannel lined jeans for winter walks. Is it Holly Winter in Susan Conant’s doggy mystery books? In the first or second book of the series, she was wearing the LLB flannel lined jeans. I have been a faithful customer ever since I read that. They are wonderful. If it’s really, really cold, a pair of long undies under them fixes all. Not exactly a fashion statement, but the crew gets their daily winter walks.

    • Jan K

      April 19, 2013 at 6:56 PM

      I love the flannel lined jeans too! They never fit me quite right, so I have to get a bigger size for them to be comfortable. Definitely not a fashion statement, but SO comfortable!

  19. Karen Friesecke

    April 18, 2013 at 10:42 PM

    Thankfully Jersey & Dexter are not into panty sniffing :0 My first dog, Princess, was the queen panty destroyer.

  20. Georgia Little Pea

    April 19, 2013 at 3:36 AM

    I’ve always been a dag, so not much change there. Having a wardrobe that’s the same colour as the dog is definitely helpful. Crotchless underwear? !!! πŸ˜€

  21. RumpyDog!

    April 19, 2013 at 6:23 AM

    I now have shoes for indoors, shoes for outdoors, and shoes for work. And it doesn’t matter what color clothing I wear, I seem to wear a taste of home.

  22. Jen

    April 19, 2013 at 7:49 PM

    Cargo pants and cargo shorts. Typically men’s, because the pockets in women’s clothing is useless. Also, better sneakers. My sneakers prior to Elka were Converse; now I get “skater shoes” for the cushioning and durability.

  23. themisadventuresofmisaki

    April 20, 2013 at 2:25 PM

    Wellies and a good raincoat have become essentials in mummy’s wardrobe

  24. Jodi, Kolchak & Felix

    April 20, 2013 at 2:50 PM

    ***WAHHHHH*** I used to have SO MANY nice shoes. They were high and had those adorable thin heels and made of expensive leathers and skins and preeeeetttttty colours. *sobs* Kolchak ruined all that with his hatred of me having nice things and penchant for all things Italian. Also gone: anything that has to be worn with nylons, satin/silk and anything that is permanent marred by a wet nose pressing up against it, and wiry sweaters that horde dog hair like it’s a trading commodity.

  25. BZ Dogs

    April 21, 2013 at 1:16 AM

    Everything I wear resembles a mohair sweater – whether it came that way or not!

  26. Max's Mom

    May 2, 2013 at 8:28 PM

    Ha, I permanently now also have fur, my co-workers don’t even seem to notice anymore! I look like a complete nutcase when we go for walks or out to public things…got water bottles and pop bag holders dangling from my beltloops and treats in my pockets…do I care? Nope, just look at what ELSE I have that you don’t have…nah, nah, nee boo boo! I have Max! πŸ™‚ A few people question my sanity but clearly they are mistaken πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

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