I read dog stories every day.
I love seeing pictures of Sage seeking out mud with the efficiency of a heat-seeking missile. And reading about Delilah stealing popcorn while no one is looking.
But I’m also jealous.
It isn’t easy when your dog is Little Miss Perfect. She never digs in the garbage, surfs the counters for foods, or pulls me face first down the sidewalk.
Are you feeling sorry for me yet?
Let me tell you more. And maybe you’ll understand the painful curse of having a perfect dog.
My Dog Is Little Miss Perfect
What’s the problem with having a dog who acts like Little Miss Perfect?
No Good Stories
When we pull up to a carry out window, Honey definitely gets excited. But short of a little wagging, she does nothing story-worthy.
Should I send her to visit Shiva who knows the most entertaining behavior to exhibit at the Tim Horton’s drive-up?
Can’t Explain Her Training
Do you know how many training questions I’m asked that I can’t answer?
When Honey was much younger, we met a young girl with cerebral palsy in a wheelchair. Because of her coordination problems, the girl’s “pets” were more like rough slaps. But Honey sat there calmly.
The girl’s mom asked, “How did you train her to do that?” And I could only reply, “I didn’t. It’s just the way she is.”
Okay, no one is perfect. Honey misbehaves at times.
But when it happens I’m so shocked I don’t know what to do with myself. Like when her brain fell out the day she took her Canine Good Citizen test.
If she would misbehave a little more often, I’d probably cope better.
No Ordinary Projects
Some dogs lends themselves to all kinds of interesting projects—learning to walk without pulling, dog sports to stimulate their brains and bodies, diet management to settle touchy tummies.
Honey is a good walker. She’s happy to play dog sports but she doesn’t need them to help her cope with life in a human house. And we’re lucky that she can eat anything (except for a plastic dog squeaker) with no negative effects.
Since we don’t need common projects to keep her happy, I’ve devised some wackadoo things to work on. Like riding in a bicycle cart, kayaking, and sailing.
Get Less Attention
When Agatha and Christie got into a fight with the neighbor’s dog, they rumbled out into the street where we stopped traffic while we tried to get them under control.
If you’re an extrovert with an exhibitionist streak, there’s no better way to attract attention.
Walking Honey, we might as well be invisible. Some people don’t even notice us. And we certainly don’t stop traffic.
No Viral Videos
I wonder how much the person who posted this video has made in advertising revenue?
Somehow I bet it’s more than I’d earn posting videos of Honey sleeping or carrying her squeaky around the house.
Imperfect Dogs Are Still Perfect
My first two dogs, Agatha and Christie, were far from perfect. They ate couches and cookbooks. They humped each other in front of company. And they howled like banshees every time we left the house.
But I would not have changed a thing about them. They made me the dog person I am today. And taught me things about dogs I never thought I’d need to know.
My imperfect dogs were perfect for me. And my perfect dog is too. Even if being perfect isn’t quite perfect.
Your Turn: Are you cursed with a perfect dog or an imperfect dog?