My husband and I have talked a lot about authority lately. Especially about who will captain the boat.
I don’t usually buy into what dominance trainers say. But are they right in one area?
What would happen if Honey decided to captain the boat?
Meet Captain Honey
Dominance trainers make a big deal about showing your dog that humans are in charge.
We eat first. We decide what they get to do and when. And we get to sit on the furniture.
Personally I’ve never seen the harm in Honey eating first, getting to play when she wants to, and sitting on the furniture.
But what if I’m wrong? What if Honey decides to mutiny?
What would life be like under Captain Honey?
10 Orders From Captain Honey
On land, Honey likes to meet the ducks and geese. At sea, we’d never get where we’re going because Captain Honey would always be changing course to say hello to pelicans and seagulls.
Honey loves the feeling of wind in her ears. If she had her way, we’d only be out in gale force winds and sleeping at the docks when light breezes come along.
Our Coast Guard required safety horn would be replaced by a squeaky toy. Fog would become play time.
If Honey were in charge, the first mate would be her stuffed bear.
Captain Honey would set the autopilot (an electronic device that steers a compass course for us) every time she wanted to take a nap. We’d probably run into a container ship in a matter of hours.
She’s such an extrovert Captain Honey wouldn’t only wave at other boats going by. She’d try to jump aboard.
We’d need to dump lots of unimportant stuff overboard like tools, spare parts, and warm clothing. After all, Honey would need more storage space for her collection of favorite chewing sticks.
Captain Honey would replace the salty snacks in the cupboard to keep us drinking water with bully sticks and dehydrated liver.
Instead of using landmarks like water towers and light houses to navigate, Captain Honey would mark her charts with the locations of all the coastal PetSmart stores.
And finally, if Honey was the captain, her motto would be “The
beatings cuddling will continue until morale approves.”
Y’know, I don’t care if the dominance trainers are afraid that Honey will take over the ship if we don’t show her we’re boss.
I think she’d make a pretty fun captain.
Your Turn: If your dogs took over your home, what changes would you expect to see?