Let’s face it. Dog lovers are weird.
It’s a good thing we have each other to hang around with. Because if normal people saw what dog lovers do every day, they would freak out.
Weird Things Dog Lovers Do
Am I telling secrets if I publish this list?
Smell dog’s feet. You can’t hide the truth from me. I know you wait until they’re sleeping and then breathe in the aroma of their feet paddling in the air.
Spoon their dogs. I bet some of you take the right position so your dog can nestle close to you in bed without even thinking about it.
Look for winking a$$holes. No, not that jerk on the bus who keeps hitting on you. But real fuzzy a$$holes signaling the cue to prep your plastic bag on a walk. Which reminds me…
Pick up poop in your hands. Sure, you cover your hand with a thin plastic bag. But that doesn’t make it any less weird to non dog lovers. Not to mention if you pick up dog poop in a snowball.
Shiver at outdoor dining establishments. Sure, it’s freaking cold. But if I’m only allowed to dine with my dog at restaurants with outdoor seating, dang it, pass me my coat.
Spend hours preparing homemade dog meals. No that’s not the weird part. That comes when you stand over the sink eating crackers and cheese because you’re too tired to cook a decent meal for yourself.
Toss cheese at your dog when the UPS truck pulls up. Hey, it keeps her quiet. And teaches her that men in uniform are safe. What’s weird about that?
Walk in zig zag patterns. Normal people walk where they need to go. Dog lovers, with reactive dogs, cross the street, jump behind shrubs, and turn into driveways to avoid things that scare their dog. A three block walk on a busy day can register six miles on the pedometer.
Ask at your favorite bar if they’ll be showing Puppy Bowl on Super Bowl Sunday. C’mon, large men chasing each other down a field or puppies? Is it even a competition?
Howl with your dog. Oh, you haven’t tried this one yet? You should. It’s loads of fun.
Love dogs too much to care that you’re freaking “normal” people out. I just pity them. Don’t you?
A little weirdness is a beautiful thing. Especially when it results in a loving relationship. So dog lovers—just keeping doing those things you do. And don’t worry about freaking out the normals. The rest of us weird dog lovers know exactly how you feel.
Your Turn: Time to share. What weird things do you do with your dog that freak normal people out? No judging here. We’re weird too.