You’ll find quizzes to tell you if you should get married, if you should have a child, and whether to dump your significant other. You’ll even find quizzes to help you decide really important stuff like if you’re ready to get a dog.
But they’re so boring. Most dog quizzes ask if you understand how much having a dog costs. Whether you have children in the house. And how much time you have to exercise each day.
What if the people who create a quiz to tell if you if you’re ready to get a dog lived in the real world? What would they ask? And how would you fare?
Are You Ready to Get a Dog Quiz
Answer the real world dog quiz:
1. How do you feel about dog hair?
A. I hate it.
B. I’m not crazy about it but I’m willing to do a little more vacuuming.
C. Yummy. I love finding it in every bite of food I put into my mouth.
2. What’s your favorite way to get daily exercise?
A. Reaching to pick up the remote.
B. Walking around the block.
C. I start off by throwing a ball, tugging one end of a toy, and top it off with long hikes or runs through the woods with frequent stops to sniff things. On weekends, I like to run around cavernous buildings with ramps, rings, and teeter totters.
3. How do you like to spend your mad money?
A. I enjoy a nice bottle of wine. I take a couple of nice vacations each year. I like going to concerts.
B. I have simple tastes. A nice long staycation suits me fine.
C. I love nothing more than spending thousands of dollars on toys that are promptly destroyed or lost. I also like giving large donations to local small business owners who graduated vet school.
4. How do you like to relax at the end of a stressful day?
A. Enjoy a nice quiet meal out and a long bubble bath.
B. Watching my favorite drama on cable with a close friend.
C. With an hour or two of vigorous exercise followed by making a meal for someone else while I’m starving followed by wiping a puddle of drool off my shoes.
5. Are you a neatnik?
A. Yep, I like to have everything picked up and kept sparkly clean.
B. A little dirt never killed anyone.
C. Muddy prints on the carpet, smudges on all the windows and doors, and an assortment of balls and toys on every floor are what make a house a home.
6. What do you like to read?
A. I enjoy all kinds of fiction and non-fiction books and read every day.
B. I pick up an occasional self-help book or heartwarming story.
C. I spend every free moment reading about methods to convince furry creatures that speak no English how to behave more like humans with frequent web searches on subjects that include vomiting, plant-eating, and runny poop.
7. What’s your idea of a perfect relationship?
A. One where I can be left alone when I want to be.
B. There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. Every friendship requires give and take.
C. One where I do everything I can to make the one I love happy and know that my friend loves me back the best way they can.
Let’s score your quiz.
Did you answer mostly A’s?
Then you’re definitely ready to get a dog. But only if it looks like this:
Did you answer mostly B’s?
Spend some time with friends who already have dogs to see if you might like to adopt a mature dog who has already learned some basic manners.
And no, you can’t have Honey.
Did you answer mostly C’s?
Then it’s too late for you. Your house probably already looks like this:
Your Turn: Can you ever really be ready to get a dog? What would you add to the quiz?