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Blog More... Humor What Does My Dog Really Think?
Honey the golden retriever retrieves a stick.
I'm Robin Hood. I take from the rich and give to the... Oh, damn. Here's a stick.

What Does My Dog Really Think?

May 19, 2015 //  by Pamela

I think I know exactly what someone else is thinking. But most of the time, it turns out that I’m completely wrong.

What if I’m just as mistaken about Honey? What does my dog really think?

What I Think vs What My Dog Really Thinks

What I think my dog thinks:

Honey the golden retriever retrieves a stick.
I’m a retriever. Retrieving things is what I do.

What my dog really thinks:

Honey the golden retriever retrieves a stick.
I’m Robin Hood. I take from the rich and give to the… Oh, damn. Here’s a stick.

What I think my dog thinks:

Honey the golden retriever rides in a kayak.
For generations, my breed has served humans by retrieving game birds on the water.

What my dog really thinks:

Honey the golden retriever rides in a kayak.
I’m Cleopatra. Keeping rowing, slave.

What I think my dog thinks:

Honey the golden retriever with flowers.
Do we always have to stop to take pictures?

What my dog really thinks:

Honey the golden retriever with flowers.
If I look bored and haughty enough maybe I’ll get that modeling contract in New York and get out of this two-bit town.

What I think my dog thinks:

Honey the Golden Retriever uses Sally the foster puppy as a chin rest.
That’s okay foster puppy. I know you’re still learning manners.

What my dog really thinks:

Honey the Golden Retriever uses Sally the foster puppy as a chin rest.
If you step on me one more time, I’m going to dig a big hole in the garden and tell the humans you did it.

What I think my dog thinks:

Honey the Golden Retriever and Pamela Douglas Webster at Ithaca Falls
Gee, she really does love me.

What my dog really thinks:

Honey the Golden Retriever and Pamela Douglas Webster at Ithaca Falls
Hold five more seconds and then I get my cookie.

I may never know what Honey is really thinking. But I’ll probably understand her better if I don’t assume I always know what she’s thinking.

Besides, a little mystery is good for a friendship.

Come To Honey’s Yard Sale

When we had our big moving sale the other weekend, I found myself doing something strange.

After I finished pricing everything, I grabbed a few things off the display table.

“Dieting With My Dog was so honest and sweet and funny. I should really read it one more time before I let it go.”

Dieting With My Dog

“Do I really want to say goodbye to my favorite puppy lamp?”

“This pin is so tiny and I love it. Should I take it with me even though I know the salt air won’t do it any favors?”

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at things), only a few of my dog items sold.

I know I have to let go of things I’ve loved. And I’d like to see them enjoyed by someone else. So I’ve decided to hold a mini, virtual yard sale.

All my favorite books and tchotchkes can be yours at yard sale prices. I even have a few big items (a wobble board, large crate, and my beloved Doggy Ride bike cart) that will be available to local folks (shipping a bike cart is definitely beyond my energy level right now).

Half of everything we earn will go to support the work of the Tompkins County SPCA, the local open admission, no-kill shelter that Honey and I fostered for. The other half will go to the costs of setting up the virtual store.

Dog decor items to be sold.
Just a few select items featuring dogs that you’ll find at Honey’s yard sale.

I still have a bunch of items to add to my online storefront. And I have to figure out some payment and shipping details. But if all goes well, the yard sale should launch tomorrow. I’ll post the link here.

So please check it out. Find some good reads. Give a good home to puppy art. And support a good cause.

Welcome

Your Turn: Do you think you know what your dog is really thinking? And are you in the market for some adorable dogs on the beach water colors?

Category: Humor, More...

Previous Post: «Honey the Golden Retriever is training new sailing skills. Don’t Look Back
Next Post: Why I Love People Who Love Dogs »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Jenna,Mark “HuskyCrazed” Drady

    May 19, 2015 at 8:57 AM

    That’s too funny! I actually did a similar post today on what dogs are really thinking 🙂

  2. Callie, Shadow, and Ducky's Mom

    May 19, 2015 at 9:03 AM

    With Callie and Shadow, it’s fairly easy to figure out what they’re thinking: feed me, take me outside, play with me, love on me, or leave me alone so I can sleep. With Ducky Doodle Demon Dog? I figure I get it wrong at least 95% of the time, except when she needs to “do her business”. That one I normally get right. 🙂

  3. Callie, Shadow, and Ducky's Mom

    May 19, 2015 at 9:09 AM

    PS. I love the pix!! And the captions! I’ll be watching for the link to your virtual store tomorrow!

  4. Mary

    May 19, 2015 at 9:10 AM

    I like ti think I know what’s happening in those furry heads, but you never really know.

  5. jan

    May 19, 2015 at 11:22 AM

    What my dogs are thinking is always obvious by their actions. The Poodles are too inscrutable to even think about scruting. Some things are best left alone,

  6. Kimberly Gauthier

    May 19, 2015 at 11:23 AM

    I think our dogs are always thinking “I love her so much.” But what they’re really thinking is “did she say treat?”

  7. Martine

    May 19, 2015 at 11:39 AM

    I sometimes think I know what they’re thinking, but I’m probably wrong most of the time. Except at mealtimes. Then I know for sure :-). Duster does this one thing, that I wish I knew what he was thinking: he brings me a toy, and drops it in my lap. Usually one of his bones. Sometimes he wants me to hold it while he chews, but usually, no. I pick it up and give it back to him, he goes away happy. I just don’t get it. But that’s okay.
    About Honey’s rummage sale: are you up for shipping to Canada, or is that just too much trouble? We’ll certainly understand if it is.

    • Pamela

      May 19, 2015 at 12:59 PM

      I wonder if Duster is trying to give you a gift? And I bet he’s really relieved you don’t start chewing on his bone yourself. 🙂

      As for Honey’s yard sale–One reason I decided to give 1/2 the sale proceeds to the shelter was so I’d have a little cushion for postal costs to send things to Canada. So I’m hoping that I’ll be able to set up the site to ship to Canada.

      But to tell you the truth, setting up this store is at the frontier of my tech knowledge. I can’t wait to see what disaster I’ll be creating unexpectedly. 🙂

  8. Groovy Goldendoodles

    May 19, 2015 at 11:46 AM

    They were all super cute – but Cleopatra made me holler – loved it all –

  9. Anne

    May 19, 2015 at 1:54 PM

    If we could only read their minds…I think we would find they know a lot more then we expect. About living a life the way it should be for a dog: carefree and in the moment, no regrets or worries.

  10. Jan K

    May 19, 2015 at 5:30 PM

    I’d say you definitely got all of Honey’s thoughts right the second time around! (the stick thing is so Sheba) Sometimes I think I am really in tune with them, but other times I don’t have a clue!

    Oh, I had been admiring some of your dog items when you shared your yard sale photos…so I’ll definitely be back! What a good idea! I know how hard it is to part with things…I’ve been trying to clean out the house lately, trying to declutter, and I just can’t believe all the stuff I’ve accumulated, and then still can’t get rid this time around!

  11. Emma

    May 19, 2015 at 8:07 PM

    We often think Mom is absolutely stupid when she doesn’t “get” things we point out, but we know she is human, so we forgive her as we do love her and we know she is trying her best.

  12. Dachshund Nola

    May 19, 2015 at 8:33 PM

    I love the Cleopatra one, haha! Sounds like Nola.

  13. Rebekah

    May 19, 2015 at 10:58 PM

    These are great!! Hahaha! I have now decided, thanks to this, that my girl is also going for a modeling contract.

  14. melF

    May 19, 2015 at 11:27 PM

    Thanks for the giggles. I suspect Honey is not as haughty or fame-motivated as you portray, but I do love it when you do stuff like this. I’ll have to check out the virtual sale!

  15. Greyhounds CAN Sit

    May 20, 2015 at 6:15 AM

    Beryl and Frankie I’m pretty sure I know what they’re thinking. They wear their hearts on their sleeves 🙂 After 19 months I still haven’t decided if Asher is really intelligent or very stupid! There are times I wonder if he has got enough brain cells to put together a thought 🙂 Other times I wonder how on earth he figured out how to do such and such!

    I’m sure Honey doesn’t really want to go to New York, she’d miss out on all your sailing adventures to come.

  16. Jen Gabbard

    May 20, 2015 at 8:21 AM

    Keep rowing, slave lol. I often wonder what the heck my dog is thinking; I try not to fool myself into believing I really know because I’ve been wrong many times before with predicting certain behaviors. I like the mystery I suppose – and plus Laika has one of those faces that’s hard to read – unless she’s panting she never looks happy.

  17. Lauranne

    May 21, 2015 at 9:23 AM

    Brilliant!

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