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Blog More... Kids are Better Than Dogs
Child holding a puppy.

Kids are Better Than Dogs

February 28, 2014 //  by Pamela

Okay, they don’t have fur. They talk back. And they’re incredibly expensive to raise.

But kids are great. There’s nothing more fun than looking at the world through the eyes of a confident and curious child.

Sometimes, even I have to admit, kids are better than dogs.

Child and dog zonked on couch.

15 Reasons Kids Are Better Than Dogs

when they get into an argument at the park, you can make them apologize instead of having to do it for them

because when you’re too old to drive, your schnauzer will be too short to reach the gas pedal

if they do get projectile diarrhea, at least they’ll be wearing a diaper (thanks for that graphic story, Taryn)

you’ll never spend time daydreaming about your dog growing up to cure cancer or create a zero emissions car

Child holding a puppy.

they give you an excuse for reading the Harry Potter stories or A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket

once they get older, you can share clothes

after your child is potty trained, you’ll never need to touch his poop again

you can raid her Halloween candy, and Easter basket

on a long car ride, you’ll have someone to play the license plate game with

during homework time, you can refresh your knowledge of state capitals and Spanish vocabulary

when it’s cold, they can put their own coat on

when you play baseball in the yard, they won’t run away with the ball and made you chase them to get it back

your kid might actually clean up his own room

kids are tax deductible

you won’t need a special seat cover to keep their clothes from coming off and remaining stuck to the upholstery of the car.

Fisherman with friends at sunset.

One Final Note

Yesterday I said dogs are better than kids. Today I say kids are better than dogs.

What’s going on?

Whether you choose kids or dogs, or if the choice has been made for you by nature or your situation, find the joy in sharing your life. We’re all very lucky to have little creatures in our homes to laugh at and enjoy (at least on the days that don’t involve projectile diarrhea).

And besides, if you think kids are better than dogs or dogs are better than kids, cats think they’re better than all of us.

Your Turn: Parents, can you add to the list? How are your kids (or grandkids) better than your dogs? Any cool aunts out there who want to brag on their nieces and nephews?

photo credits: (zonked) russteaches via photopin cc, (puppy) Tambako the Jaguar via photopin cc,(fisherman & friends) h.koppdelaney via photopin cc. Click images to learn more about the photographers.

Category: Humor, More...

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Next Post: Why Dog Lovers Piss Me Off Honey the golden retriever wonders why dogs aren't allowed.»

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Sara

    February 28, 2014 at 8:33 AM

    They’re humans, with human brain power. They become rational, and they learn to talk. They can tell me what happened when I wasn’t there, and understand that I’ll be back at a certain time. They can talk about books and shared memories and tell me new things, they can speed up grocery trips by “fetching” items off my list, they can sing and write stories and do projects that require opposable thumbs. They have never barked at the neighbors, and “toilet trained” means they take care of it, and flush. My 12 year old figured out how to fix my wireless router the other day. And they’re likely to outlive me.

    • Pamela

      March 2, 2014 at 7:54 AM

      What a lovely and succinct description of having fun with kids. “They can talk about books and shared memories and tell me new things, they can speed up grocery trips by “fetching” items off my list, they can sing and write stories and do projects that require opposable thumbs.”

      I used to schedule play dates with my friend’s sons. In part it was to give her some alone time to do what she needed to do. And in part, it was to have fun with kids. Their imaginations and view of the world are wonderful.

  2. Peta

    February 28, 2014 at 8:45 AM

    They don’t whine and whine at you, pacing to and from the kitchen at dinnertime. Oh, wait, they do!

    • Pamela

      March 2, 2014 at 7:56 AM

      Well, you could try what I did with my Honey–I taught her to go to her place while I’m cooking by tossing her bits of cheese every so often.

      Parents of toddlers rely heavily on Cheerios and fruit to keep their little ones happy. I don’t know why people give up on it when their kids get older. 🙂

  3. BJ Pup

    February 28, 2014 at 9:40 AM

    To quote from you: “And besides, if you think kids are better than dogs or dogs are better than kids, cats think they’re better than all of us.” And Yorkies top that.

  4. emma

    February 28, 2014 at 10:34 AM

    At this point, Mom says she is sticking with dogs are better than kids, the only short fall is that they can’t care for her if she gets old and sick, but kids are just a lot more trouble.

  5. Peggy Frezon

    February 28, 2014 at 11:19 AM

    I could argue both sides–
    Dogs don’t have expensive college tuitions to pay.
    I don’t have to figure out what to cook for dinner every night for dogs, they’re content with the same old stuff poured into their bowl.
    But dogs don’t remember those funny things we say and make us laugh when they repeat them.
    And dogs don’t grow up and give us grandchildren.
    I think having both is the best!

    but I think having both is the best!

    • Pamela

      March 2, 2014 at 8:01 AM

      And hopefully your kids share your love of dogs as well. That would be the icing on the cake.

  6. slimdoggy

    February 28, 2014 at 11:55 AM

    Equal time huh? Only fair. No kids, no comment 😉

  7. Lynn

    February 28, 2014 at 1:03 PM

    I would have to argue that the projectile diarrhea piece could be up for debate. Sometimes it happens outside the diaper phase, and handling soiled laundry from a sick kiddo can be just as gross as spot botting the carpet. 🙂 And, as a technicality, foster dogs are tax deductible, but that ship sails when you agree to take full responsibility for one! Funny how that works…

    But these points are otherwise impossible to dispute. If I had a nickel for all the times I’ve wanted so badly to tell my dog “use your words”…

    • Pamela

      March 2, 2014 at 8:08 AM

      Bwa ha ha! “use your words…” Yes!

      I do find myself asking Honey, “Could you say it in English, please?”

  8. Vlad & Barkly's Dee

    February 28, 2014 at 1:03 PM

    I’ve got 2 sons; one of them has given me 2 granddaughters; and we’ve always had 2 dogs in the house. Children are better than dogs because they eventually grow up to take care of their own selves. Dogs are better because they don’t raise your blood pressure like the children do. Even when they’re grown, children can find ways to yank your chain. Having dogs around means that chain isn’t quite so heavy when it’s yanked, and rubbing one of the dogs lessens the child-stress. Having pets has been proven better for your health. That can’t really be said of children. However, I wouldn’t take all the money in the world for any of them.

    • Pamela

      March 2, 2014 at 8:09 AM

      Well put, Dee. You said in one paragraph what it took me two blog posts to say. 🙂

  9. Kolchak, Felix & Jodi

    February 28, 2014 at 7:23 PM

    To be fair, my dog gives me an excuse to listen to Harry Potter every day. You do make some fair points though…I doubt Kol is every going to win a Nobel Piece prize, until they start offering one for most snacks consumed…

    • Pamela

      March 2, 2014 at 8:09 AM

      I wouldn’t be so sure about that Nobel, however. Barack Obama got one just for being elected. 🙂

  10. Sue

    March 1, 2014 at 3:47 PM

    I’m a proud stepmother and grandmother — Jason grew into a responsible young man and is an excellent father to his own sons — but for me, personally, dogs were the only real choice. Neither is better than the other, they’re just different.

  11. Jan K

    March 1, 2014 at 4:50 PM

    Loved the cat comment, that was a great way to end the debate!!
    One thing I noticed when our grandson was visiting is that dogs and kids have a lot in common.

    • Pamela

      March 2, 2014 at 8:18 AM

      If you’ve observed similarities between dogs and your grandson, you might enjoy this article by Alexandra Horowitz: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/20/opinion/sunday/is-your-dog-smarter-than-a-2-year-old.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0.

      I found it very interesting.

  12. Lauranne

    March 3, 2014 at 4:15 AM

    Remember cats were once worshiped as Gods….and they have never forgotten this!!

  13. Maggie

    March 5, 2014 at 5:19 PM

    I’m late to this party, but this post is SO sweet! I have to brag on my nephew, Owen. He doesn’t jump up on me, pull things off the counters, or try to bite the other kids we pass at the park. 🙂

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