The 12 Days of Christmas (and a rant)

Along with my friend Pup Fan of I Still Want More Puppies, I think song parodies are the greatest. So when PetSafe announced their 12 Days of Christmas blog contest, I had to enter.

Here’s my puppy version of the 12 Days of Christmas. I defy you to not sing along. And if Christmas is not part of your traditions, you can find the original song here for reference.

The 12 Days of Christmas (puppy version)

On the first day of Christmas my puppy gave to me

a leaping circus of  fleas.

On the second day of Christmas my puppy gave to me

two spitty Kongs and a leaping circus of fleas.

On the third day of Christmas my puppy gave to me

three p-mails, two spitty Kongs, and a leaping circus of fleas.

On the fourth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me

four tons of fur, three p-mails, two spitty Kongs, and a leaping circus of fleas.

On the fifth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me

five chewed up things. Four tons of fur, three p-mails, two spitty Kongs, and a leaping circus of fleas.

On the sixth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me

six hours of baying, five chewed up things. Four tons of fur, three p-mails, two spitty Kongs, and a leaping circus of fleas.

On the seventh day of Christmas my puppy gave to me

seven slobs of slobber, six hours of baying, five chewed up things. Four tons of fur, three p-mails, two spitty Kongs, and a leaping circus of fleas.

On the eighth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me

eight teeth a biting, seven slobs of slobber, six hours of baying, five chewed up things. Four tons of fur, three p-mails, two spitty Kongs, and a leaping circus of fleas.

On the ninth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me

nine looks entrancing, eight teeth a biting, seven slobs of slobber, six hours of baying, five chewed up things. Four tons of fur, three p-mails, two spitty Kongs, and a leaping circus of fleas.

On the tenth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me

ten seconds sleeping, nine looks entrancing, eight teeth a biting, seven slobs of slobber, six hours of baying, five chewed up things. Four tons of fur, three p-mails, two spitty Kongs, and a leaping circus of fleas.

On the eleventh day of Christmas my puppy gave to me

eleven poopers pooping, ten seconds sleeping, nine looks entrancing, eight teeth a biting, seven slobs of slobber, six hours of baying, five chewed up things. Four tons of fur, three p-mails, two spitty Kongs, and a leaping circus of fleas.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my puppy gave to me

twelve zoomies zooming, eleven poopers pooping, ten seconds sleeping, nine looks entrancing, eight teeth a biting, seven slobs of slobber, six hours of baying, five chewed up things. Four tons of fur, three p-mails, two spitty Kongs, and a leaping circus of fleas.

The rant

The 12 Days of Christmas are not the days leading up to Christmas Day. They are the twelve days between Christmas and the Epiphany—with Christmas being assumed as the day of Jesus’ birth and the Epiphany when he was first revealed to the gentiles, by tradition, the Magi.

The 12 days of Christmas end with a Twelfth Night celebration.

If you look deep, you’ll see that all these dates for Christian festivals coincide with important dates in pagan culture. And that traditions have been added on over the ages culminating in the most holy of rituals, Christmas shopping.

Hey, it seems that people of many traditions around the world seem to think it’s a good idea to plan some fun when the nights are at their longest (no wonder the Australians and New Zealanders seem so confused about when winter/summer begins).

So I guess this is two rants–one caused by all the people who don’t know when the Twelve Days of Christmas are and the other by people who feel their Christianity is being persecuted every time someone says Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas.

Ok, I’m done channeling Andy Rooney.

The joy of the season 

On to happier topics, do you have any animal themed holiday/winter song parodies? Walking in a Wiener Wonderland anyone? Or We Wish You a Hairy Christmas? Any Jewish friends remember the children’s Chanukah song, “I have a little doggy, I take him out to play”?

Do share. I’m tired of singing the same old Christmas carols.

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Comments

  1. Great song! And I miss Andy Rooney, so channel away.
    Re: Chanukah songs: You’ve thrown down the gauntlet. No promises but…
    Happy holidays!

  2. I was planning another parody installment for tomorrow after getting inspired by your post yesterday!

    Love your 12 days of Christmas song. :)

  3. Nice job with the song and thanks for the history lesson. I did not know when the twelve days of Christmas were!

    • No one does. I don’t know why I feel so called to straighten this out for folks but it’s just a weird thing.

      So now there’s two of us. :)

  4. Rant away! I don’t understand why people get all bent out of shape by using “Happy Holidays” as opposed to “Merry Christmas”. Can’t they just take it with the kindness intended? I am not a religious person and I come from a non-denominational backyard, yet we still celebrate Christmas. Since I don’t feel particularly attached to the Christian side of things, I try to keep it secular. It feels less hypocritical that way. Besides, when did it become a crime to be politically correct?

    Sorry, I shouldn’t rant in your blog comments. That’s probably rude. So instead I will hum your happy little tune and admire your creativity. Though I do envy you only have five chewed up things. I think my number would be closer to twelve. 😉

    • Oh, rant away.

      I wonder if the Happy Holidays vs Merry Christmas debate is as acrimonious in Canada as it is in the states. We’ve had lawsuits over the issue.

      And a recent presidential candidate referenced it when he said you can tell there’s something wrong in the country when gay people can serve openly in the military but kids can’t celebrate Christmas in the public schools. Oooooooooh.

      I find it funny how hard Christians work to stake their claim on what started as a pagan solstice celebration.

      It’s perfectly fine to assign the birth of Christ to this day and enjoy the celebration. But I don’t think it’s in the spirit of Christ to be hostile toward everyone whose view of the holiday is different.

      There, you see what you did? You got me all stirred up again.

  5. excellent. the spitty kongs are my favorite!

  6. lol great song. seven slobs of slobber!
    I love all the Christmas songs, one of my favorites is Sleigh Ride.

    • Thank you, Peggy. I was particularly proud of that one.

      I wish radio stations could continue to play winter songs after Christmas–Walking in a Winterland, Sleigh Ride, Jingle Bells. These are all winter songs, not Christmas songs. :)

  7. I must say I did know about the true 12 days of Christmas; Jan. 6, Feast of the Magi, is my final gift/card sending day in the Christmas season (it’s more than a day). Thanks for illumination.
    I am a practicing Christian (emphasis on the “practicing”) but have no problem with Happy Holidays and get very tired of people holding so tight they don’t see the hurt they are causing and the joy they are missing.
    Love the song; Dexter the Yorkie has a similar video :).

  8. Dear Pamela, you have just zoomed to the top of my favorite persons list this christmas :p I love telling people about Christmas’s pagan origins (also Easter). I didn’t realise anyone didn’t know the 12 days of Christmas started from Christmas day. And I’m not even Christian OR religious in any way.

    Over here in Sydney, there are hardly any public displays of Christmas (which no doubt adds to MY lack of festive spirit). Apparently some people find it not PC to have displays that are of religious nature like nativity scenes. Despite my non-religious views, I find that ABSURD. We dont say Merry Christmas here either, but HAPPY Christmas. God knows (and I use that term loosely) how an old fashioned word like “merry” can offend.

    On a jollier note – good work on the song! Yes I did sing along. Missing Scooter?

    Oh. And A Very Merry Christmas to you! :) xox

  9. I also find it ridiculous that people get bent out of shape by the “Happy Holidays.” How do they know I’m not referring to Christmas and New Years? They’re definitely close enough to warrant lumping my well wishes together. If people are so concerned about keeping the “Christ in Christmas” they should try spending a little less time shopping and more time loving their neighbor – regardless of their color, traditions, or sexual orientation. I believe Christ would be heartbroken over our decisiveness and care not at all what we call our pegan holiday.

  10. The silliest thing about the Happy Holidays thing is that it wasn’t even originally any kind of multi-cultural acceptance thing. It was just the lazy way of saying “Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year” at the same time. I like the new inclusive meaning, but it’s still true.

    And that’s not even getting into the fact that celebrating Christmas at all used to be disallowed by many denominations of Christianity (and in some cases, is still disallowed).

  11. Thanks for posting the 12 Days info – I’ve noticed some 12-day countdowns ’til Christmas that have given me pause. I can’t remember when I realized there were 12 days between Dec. 25 and Jan. 6 (happens to be my father’s b-day), but it was in adulthood, as growing up, we never celebrated past the 25th.

    You would have been fit to be tied, by the way, at my daughter’s high school music department’s winter concert. The show choir did a wonderful parody on the 12 Days of Christmas, titled The 12 Days AFTER Christmas (during which the songstress gets in a fight with her true love and shoots the partridge, among other things). Clearly the writer of that song doesn’t understand the 12 Days of Christmas either. 😐

    Speaking of parodies – LOVE IT! Especially the 9th day – so clever!

    Hope little Scooter’s ball-ectomy went/goes well.

  12. Love the song … now if only the blog contest was being hosted by someone other than a SHOCK collar company, I’d be really excited. ;o)

  13. A few quick things:
    1. I love your song
    2. I am so, so, so with you on the rants — both of them
    3. Wow, you got that pup adopted quickly!
    4. I am like you — never miss a day of reading your blog, but lately find myself too disorganized to have time for thoughtful comments. Shall we forgive each other?

    Seasons greetings,
    Aleks, Chick, & Dora the Explorer

  14. I loved your parody! Definitely grin-inducing! I am glad you set people straight about the true meaning of the song, too!

    Have you never heard Yellow Snow? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCa1VfGEatg

    Honestly, I don’t care what people say, as long as it’s meant in the spirit of the holidays. What I do think is stupid is that there are places who attempt to keep people from saying “Merry Christmas” because it might offend someone. I’m not offended if someone wishes me a Happy Hanukkah or a Joyous Kwanzaa. So why can’t I greet people with the same good intent? Whether I say “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” I intend the same good wishes to whomever I’m greeting.

  15. Rant away Andy Rooney! I was one of those folks who did not know that the 12 days of Christmas was the time between Christmas and the Epiphany (or maybe I forgot?), but I am glad you shared the info. I always love learning new things and being a history buff I love this one even more so. Have to also agree about the whole pagan roots and Merry Christmas thing too.

    I’m impressed with your 12 Days of Christmas rendition – very clever and descriptive items (two spitty Kongs just conjures up a wonderful image). I’m not sure I can do this one, ut I may give it a try. I’m a little intimidated after seeing yours, AJ’s and Kristine’s versions this morning!

  16. this was so funny. excellent job!

Trackbacks

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