Shark Week The Way I’d Like To See It

Golden Retriever at the beach

You say there are sharks in the water? And you wonder why I don’t like swimming.

Animal Planet is a big, fat tease.

Whenever I go somewhere that has television, I look forward to catching It’s Me Or The Dog or Dogs 101. But do I ever see them?

No! Because it’s always Shark Week. Or else they’re airing 20 Creepy Crawlies You Wouldn’t Invite To Dinner, over and over again.

Now I’d be happy to watch a show about sharks if I thought I’d learn something. But the sensational music and narration leads me to believe this is just another example of sharksploitation. And sharks have enough problems with their PR without me supporting that.

So imagine how happy I was to discover this video on Buzzfeed:

Animal Planet, who needs you? We’ve got Animals Acting Like Sharks Week.

So cable subscribers, tell me. Does Animal Planet air anything except for shows intended to scare or freak people out?

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Comments

  1. Bwaaaaa ha ha ha ha! Oh, you made my morning! I gave up our cable subscription years ago. For a while, we would leave animal planet on for the dogs, then I was home for a week and saw what’s on it during the day. It was hours of ER Vets and animals crying and in pain. I can’t imagine my dogs were enjoying that. They got to watch Unsolved Mysteries during the day after that.

  2. BOL – way too funny!

    Sam

  3. Oh my goodness, the creativity of some people never ceases to amaze me!

    I do have cable and I do get animal planet. God I wish I was brave enough to give it all up. :-) But animal planet does occasionally have something nice on, most times I avoid it because it’s animal cops Houston or something equally depressing. The best thing is the DVR because I can tell it what to record and every “It’s me or the dog” show gets recorded and I don’t have to weed through the rest of the crap.

  4. Bwahahaha! That was both hysterical and just a little disturbing. :]

  5. I’ve also got a mostly-hate relationship with Animal Planet. Some of their programming isn’t even related to animals. Also, the few educational dog/cat shows that are still around are almost the only thing that they don’t repeat endlessly. If you miss “It’s Me or the Dog” (and even it is getting to be more of a “reality TV” show than an educational dog-training program) you’re out of luck. The same episode of “Tanked” plays four times a week.

    But I think every TV station is converging on the same kind of mediocrity, especially the themed channels. The History Channel and Animal Planet are two of the worst offenders, but you can’t even turn to the weather channel and get the actual weather anymore.

    • What is up with that Tanked show? I’ve never heard of anything more bizarre. It just started airing in Canada and I haven’t seen it yet but I am tempted just because it’s so weird.

      We call the History Channel the Nazi Appreciation channel; the only history related shows they air are related to Hitler. 😛

  6. That’s brilliant!!! Do you think I would make it as a shark?

  7. What a great idea for a fund-raiser! “Hounds – Dry Land Sharks: You Never Knew.” This was great! Haven’t had cable for a long time and only miss it now during the Olympics.

  8. Television really is such a huge disappointment now. I watched an episode of Leave it to Beaver the other day and every commercial was for an adult diaper, a motorized wheelchair or an alert necklace . . really? Am I THAT old?? I miss the simple shows with a moral from my childhood :)

    We can’t watch Animal Planet in our house . . Cali thinks she needs to protect us from all of the animals, which was cute when she was a puppy, but not so cute after 13 years! Sometimes she starts barking at a commercial before the animal even appears, because she remembers that there is an animal in it!! Silly girl.

    What a hoot, I love the video!!

  9. Animal Planet does have *some* good shows, I promise! It’s worth the cost of subscription to catch Jackson Galaxy in action, if you haven’t already. The opening of his show cracks me right up. But I agree, there is a lot of creepy crawlies to get through first.

    And don’t even get me started on Discovery Channel’s Shark Week… Ugh. I rant about that stupid thing all the time. Why can’t we have a week dedicated to something else? Every year it’s the same. I wrote them an email once asking for “Big Cat” week or “Bear” week instead and they just sent me a “thanks for your email” in return. Grrrr. When Shark Week comes around I usually stage a boycott in my house.

  10. I would watch the heck out of that week.

  11. That video is hysterical. How did that girl manage to lay there without laughing while those pups go at her??

    As for Animal Planet, it used to be one of our go-to channels. But then it got weird (IMO). Too many cop shows and sad/weird shows. A lot of shows that seemed to be more about the people than the animals, so I never even think of checking it anymore. I’ve even forgotten what # it is. We mostly watch sports and old movies now, with a lot of cooking shows/contests and a little Breaking Bad mixed in.

  12. You say this was staged, I don’t believe it. I keep trying to tell people–Yorkies are dangerous! No one listens, you all just keep walking around, oblivious to the risks. I saw three last week on a troika leash. My blood ran cold.

  13. I didn’t realize you had no cable either. I thought Nick and I were alone in the world. LOL! And I can totally relate to this post. The few times we’ve watched tv, usually late at night at a hotel or while visiting family or what not, we usually go to either Animal Planet or the Food Network – and with that little bit of tv we watch in a year – we still manage to end up watching re-runs!

  14. That is just too funny we are crying with laughter. Brilliant. Have a fabulous weekend.
    Best wishes Molly

  15. Haha! That was so good! I don’t watch a lot of animal shows on telly. I’m a bit over episodes on hyenas, lions and meerkats. My god! Aren’t there other animals worth talking about? Animal rescues make me sad. I like Dogtown but we seem to be stuck on reruns. I hate hate HATE animal wrangling shows! My favourite animal man is still David Attenborough and I loved the series he did on the creepy crawlies in our backyards. Bring back naturalists who whisper and don’t throttle the animals they’re studying PLEASE! Have you seen the doco Oceans? Beautiful :) Have a great Sunday! X

  16. Lol, that video was so funny:) Not having pay TV, although I’ve thought about it, I have no idea what shark week is but it sounds dreadful. TV really has gone to the dogs, or should that be sharks(?) the past few years. All these reality shows drive me up the wall. Maybe I don’t have a sense of humour (but I thought your video was funny) because I find so many comedies to be a waste of time. Are good TV programmes not made any more? I guess it depends on one’s definition of good?

  17. I feel so out of the loop. I never watch Animal Planet…lol. That video was funny.

  18. Koly & Fe prefer AMC or HBO to Animal Planet. (No wonder Koly is so outspoken!) I love Shark Week, not because of the Shark Shows, but because people get so freaking excited about it. LOL, it’s hilarious. I love the video too.