Funny Dog Laws

We all know Murphy’s Law—anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

But what about all the dog laws that rule our lives every day? Here’s a few to get you thinking.

Dog laws affect our lives.

The more the mom hates cold, the more the dog loves it.

Dog Laws That Affect You Every Day

Bailey’s Law – The more urgently you have to pee in the morning, the longer your dog will take to relieve herself.

Max’s Law – If your dog is snoring on the floor when you get up to find something, he will be on your seat when you return. Even if you were gone fewer than five seconds.

Bella’s Law – Your dog who never barks will suddenly discover her voice the moment you begin a phone interview for your dream job.

Gus’s Law – Until you go to another part of the house farthest from the back door, your dog will show no interest in going outside.

Molly’s Law – The only toy your dog wants to play with is the one that rolled farthest under the furniture.

Cooper’s Law – The more adorably your dog is posed, the more likely he’ll move seconds after you grab your camera.

Honey in the tub.

The more excited a dog looks about taking a bath, the more likely there are treats involved.

Sophie’s Law – The more money you’ve spent on training classes the worse your dog behaves when you meet said trainer in public.

Jackson’s Law – If your entire house has hardwood floors, your dog will find the only three square feet of carpet before he vomits or has a bout of diarrhea.

Lucy’s Law – A dog’s affection increases proportionally to the likelihood that the person she’s greeting is wearing the opposite color. Gold dogs greet people wearing black most affectionately while black dogs greet people wearing beige most affectionately.

Riley’s Law – A dog jumping up on you is most likely to hit testicles, sore breasts, or kidneys.

Honey the golden retriever and friends on the couch.

The bigger the dog, the more likely to try to squeeze into a right spot.

Honey’s Law – No matter how much we can predict a dog’s behavior based on dog laws, they’re always more lovable than we could ever expect.

Your Turn: Have your dogs inspired any dog laws? Do tell.

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  1. BOL…I would add to #1…or the colder it is outside…the longer they will take.

  2. Yup all those laws affect me! LOL

  3. LOL! Great list and I think we know all of those at our house!

  4. Dogs’ ability to reproduce is in inverse proportion to the human’s desire for breeding.

  5. I had to show my coworker these…because they are all true!!!

    but for us:
    Molly’s Law – The only toy your dog wants to play with is the one that rolled farthest under the furniture.
    This would be changed to:
    Scarlett’s Law – The only toy your dog wants to play with is the one another dog has…OR the water bottle you are currently drinking from!

  6. I love this post!!! The one about the camera is specially true. SO SO SO TRUE!!!!

  7. The bigger your headache is, the louder your dog will bark!

    All yours are so true.

  8. The camera one is very true! The cuter the action, the less likely your dog (or child) is to do it again. I just don’t understand how people manage to catch funny things on camera or video. Must be pure luck!

    Pierson’s Law – The nicer you dress, the more likely your dog is to find a mud puddle outside and jump on you the minute he comes inside.

  9. Faolan’s law-the happier someone is to see him, the more pitiful he acts.

    Love all these!

  10. These are hilarious. I can add:
    BJ’s Law – The second you get comfortable with a book or the computer you dog will start to nudge you and whine for attention.

    Pepe’s Law – Your dog can be in another room and as soon as you turn down the covers, your dog curls up in your spot or on the pillow.

    There are probably hundreds more if we sat down an thought about it.
    Great post.

  11. Hehe these are great and oh so true! Love it!

  12. Brilliant and so true!

    BD’s law – No stick should be left behind. If the stick you are carrying breaks into three – pick them all up before continuing on your walk!

    Mity’s law – that’s my spot. Move!

  13. Mike Webster says:

    From the Husband:
    Honey’s Law (with a nod to Mary Poppins) states the following.
    The Dog, Practically Perfect in Every Way. Except for When She’s Not.

  14. Lovely post! Put a smile on my face to start my day.

  15. Delilah’s Law – If it’s food, smells like food or in any way shape or form resembles food it is mine to be ingested.

  16. Moses’ law: drool will only be flung in the direction of your face when your mouth is open.

    Alma’s law: just as you’re about to fall asleep into a well-deserved nap on the couch, cold, wet Newf kisses will find their way to your face.

  17. I had a good laugh reading this! I definitely agree with Cooper’s Law!