I have lots of friends who refer to their dogs as their children.
Not me. I know better. Dogs and kids aren’t the same. Because dogs are better.
15 Reasons Dogs Are Better Than Kids
Dog training classes cost anywhere from $75 to $200. College tuition? $40,000 a year. You do the math.
If your dog decides to go out drinking, it’s probably from a mud puddle and not a keg.
Your dog will make you insane when he’s a puppy. Perhaps as long as two years. Your kid won’t grow up until she’s 26. And even then she’ll move back in with her own kids.
No arguments about proper clothing. Your dog will happily go out naked. And no one will be shocked.
At least your dog has the courtesy to spit up on your rug instead of your best silk blouse.
Need to get out for the evening? Fill a Kong with peanut butter and put your dog in her crate. She’ll be fine for a few hours. And no one will call protective services.
If you want company while running errands, your dog will happily jump into the car, tail wagging. Just try asking a teenager to give up his Saturday to pick up wood pellets for the stove with you.
Your dog will never beg to watch a Barney DVD five times in a row.
If your dog flunks potty training, clean up is much easier. No clothing to wash.
No. Knock. Knock. Jokes. Ever.
Dogs don’t complain when you feed them the same food every day.
Your dog is always happy to see you at the end of the day. Your teenager? Not so much.
Helping your dog with his homework involves treats, jumping, and playing. Helping your kid with his homework involves long division.
Not having opposable thumbs means your dog will never go through a phase of smearing his feces on the walls.
Dogs sleep most of the day. So you might actually get to do something beside parenting.
Note to Parents
If you are raising young children right now and didn’t find this funny—wait a few years. Once your kids grow up and you’re able to get more sleep, you’ll get your sense of humor back.
And besides, as you age and slow down, have your kids helping you out, and your grandkids keeping you young, you’ll get the last laugh.
Your Turn: Are dogs better than kids? Why do you think so? Any parents want to counter argue?
Don’t forget to enter the Kurgo Hammock giveaway. You only have a few days.