7 Books I Wish Dog Trainers Would Write

My bookshelves are filled with books by dog experts. I rely on them often.

But here are the books I really wish they would write:

Hound Mix and Golden Retriever Playing

The book we’d like to read is “Bitey Face: Fun Game? Or Funnest Game Ever?”


•Drool School: Five Days To Getting More Water In The Dog And Less Water On The Floor


How Not To Interrupt Outdoor Training Sessions – A Manual For Squirrels


Hang On To That Hair: The Positive Way To Teach Your Dog To Stop Shedding


Doggie Dialects: How To Understand “I Need to Go Out, NOW” Barks From Any Dog


Click to Cook: Clicker Training Your Dog to Prepare Gourmet Meals Before You Get Home


Frugal Fido: The Guaranteed Way To Teach Your Dog to Make His Toys Last


Make Your Mutt Musical: Ten Ways To Ensure Your Dogs Bark On Key

What dog book do you wish someone would write?

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  1. Well… I dunno…. I was kinda hoping someone would write the book, “Your Dog Really IS Smarter Than You! Here’s How”

  2. We need “Drool School: Five Days To Getting More Water In The Dog And Less Water On The Floor” plus, “How to Keep Your Dog Entertained When it is 118 Degrees Outside”…


  3. “How To Get Your Dog To Fix Anything In The House” because Dexter is always in my business whenever I have to do household chores.

  4. Judith Gouveia says:

    I like your list of books. I would like that can help me understand that when the dog is standing by the side of the bed ten minutes or so before I am getting up – the reason why. Is it because she wants to chase something outside, does she just want to chill on the porch, is there a good smell, does she want to get an early start on the day, or does she have to use the bathroom. Usually a sleepy “five more minutes” is enough to get her to jump back on the bed. Sometimes I feel bad. What if she really has to go?
    Most of the time if I do get up she will just sit on the porch. Now mind you we get up at 5:15 every morning. Although I notice that in the winter I have to wake her up. Now where do I order Click to Cook?

  5. Brooks and Kelly need “How to Win Friends and Influence Canines” and Kelly could use “Pup Petiquette 101: Play Nice with Others”

  6. Help I’m stuck to my floor – How to get your dog to stop licking the floor.

  7. A Field Guide for Finding Lost Toys.
    The expensive ones always disappear first.

  8. I have the answer to “Drool School: Five Days To Getting More Water In The Dog And Less Water On The Floor”: get a dog who doesn’t like water. Silas takes a solid thirty seconds of creeping closer and closer to the top surface of the water, tentatively sticking his tongue out. Because, you know, he might accidentally touch his nose to the water. The flip side is that it takes moving heaven and earth to get him outside to do his business in the rain.

    I would take a copy of Sam’s “Keeping Your Dog Entertained at 118 degrees.” Mercifully we’re topping out in the upper 90s this year, but it’s going to take all winter with a Magic Eraser to get the toy marks off the walls from playing fetch. I could also use “The Positive Way To Teach Your Dog To Stop Shedding.” I thought I’d be lucky with a short-haired dog. Ha! That just means the hair is impossible to remove from anything that it touches.

  9. “How to Get a Hound or Any Dog to go out in the Rain/Inclement Weather for Business”

    “How to Teach Dogs Not to Follow the Pack in Baying/Barking when a Cyclist Rides By”

    “Houndsong – One of Nature’s Miracles”

    “Yes, I Can Use the Bathroom Without Help from the Dog(s)”

  10. “The Good Dogs Guide to Gardening”
    “The Good Dogs Guide to Housekeeping”
    A girl can dream, can’t she?? I’d be interested in Drool School!!

  11. Hahaha! I’d buy Frugal Fido in a heartbeat.

    How about this? “The Epic Struggle Between Cats and Dogs”, How to get your dog to give up her unrequited love for your feline.
    Or maybe, “Mud is a Sometimes Food”, Teaching your dog the difference between edible and inedible treats.

  12. All of them made me giggle, but I love the manual for the squirrels!!

    Thank you again for your words of encouragement. It is an honor for me as well to be making this journey with you.

  13. Click to cook would be great. Click to make coffee would be good enough if it’s too hard to chop garlic.

  14. I would pay good money for “Click to Cook” and “Hang on to that Hair”! I’d also like to have “Teach Your Dog to Read”. That way we could lay around and read together, and she wouldn’t lay there and sigh and look bored when I want to curl up with a good book!

  15. Great ideas, all!

  16. Sign me up for Click to Cook once somebody writes it. :) Loved these!

  17. I’d take all of them.
    There’s also ‘How to avoid a lick on the lips right after they’ve eaten something rotten/licked somewhere gross’, and ‘How to stop your dog lying in a muddy puddle right before getting into the car’.

  18. How to get your dog to stop tripping you and pulling your pants down in public:)

  19. Man, I’m casting my vote for Elka learning how to cook gourmet meals for me so they’re ready for when I get home!

  20. I love all of them! I’d also like someone to write “Finding Your Inner Peace and Calming the Fart Storm Within You” for a few dogs who shall remain nameless!

  21. Love those titles. Especially Frugal Fido. Toby needs that one for sure. Of course, he’s probably eat it too.

  22. Please mark me down for a copy of Drool School – quick, before we drown!

  23. Now that I’ve got a house with a fire I’d like a book Frankie could read that would teach him how to chop kindling and use a chainsaw … but maybe using either of those tools (weapons!) isn’t such a good idea for him! I imagine the first thing he would do would be to saw a hole in the fence so he can get at the rabbits up the road. I’ll go with the Click to Cook book:)

  24. I’d like to pre-order a copy of that shedding one, if at all possible. :)

  25. Can I get an audiobook that will teach Koly how to share the bed? And perhaps a picture book on how rainwater won’t actually murder you for Felix?