Comments on: We Can’t Fix Everything and We Shouldn’t Try – Good for the Dog; Good for You

By: Callie, Shadow, and Ducky's Mom

Callie, Shadow, and Ducky's Mom — Wed, 12 Feb 2014 21:40:22 +0000

I, too, hate those women’s magazines that try to convince us that the only way to be is their way. Those magazines remind me of my father’s former second wife…”It’s my way or the highway”… But I digress. I refuse to let someone who has never met me, let alone known me, tell me how I should do/feel/be/act etcetera. We all dance to our own tune, and I don’t ask anyone to change for me, so I won’t tolerate anyone else demanding that I change for them. Of course, it took me nearly all of the first 50 years of my life to get there, but the important thing is that I got there.

No, my dogs are not perfect. And Ducky has enough “issues” for our vet to refer to her — lovingly — as my “special needs dog”. But we love her unconditionally, just as we do Callie and Shadow. We work on the issues with her, but it’s an imperfect world so I don’t worry about it. I just do what I can to help her. The hell with what strangers think.

By: Miss Jan

Miss Jan — Tue, 11 Feb 2014 23:19:04 +0000

May I comment on the theme by using your apt analogy of the introvert at the cocktail party? My comment is that if you have a realistic assessment of your worth that is not based upon faux media-driven uber-high standards for looks, earning capabilities, multitasking superstardom, etc., and you choose to change certain things that are appropriate to change, that empowers you. Our “problems” really are different ways of being – but if we ourselves decide that we want to amend that “different-ness” we are empowered to take steps toward that. I recently read Susan Cain’s book “Quiet” which is a well-written exploration of what it is to be an introvert in a world designed by the powers that be to be an extrovert’s exclusive turf. I am an introvert who needed to incorporate some extrovert-type talents into my “style” to be more effective at a small business I was absolutely loving to “grow” into a small and celebrated success. Was it hard? Oh, yes. Was I successful? I think I was – and the best part is that I liked and was empowered by it(i.e., had increased confidence and pride). Did I want to follow society’s demands to actually change into an extrovert? Nope, sure didn’t. My point is that by choosing what I actually wanted, and acting on choice, rather than feeling forced into it by the insane money-grubbing juggernaut that is today’s print and broadcast media, I achieved an important goal that actually made me happy. I see the same thing in animal competition – especially horses are forced into activities that mentally and physically they are simply more or less incapable of handling. I don’t pretend to fully understand why certain segments of the human population feel entitled to force others into compliance with their “standards” but I do know that the profit motive is a huge part of it, and somewhere in the mix is the terrible intoxication of gaining power over others.

By: Oz the Terrier

Oz the Terrier — Tue, 11 Feb 2014 14:28:55 +0000

Well, this terrier surely is not perfect (just visit my new reactivity page on facebook if you do not believe me)…and neither are my Ma and Daddy-dog. But…who wants perfect? Perfection is boring…it means you never have to challenge yourself to try anything, it means you are the same as every other perfect thing. I personally like individuality…it’s the differences and imperfections that make life the exciting journey that it is. And on kindness…don’t forget that you should share your kindness not only with others, but with yourself too!

By: Rebekah

Rebekah — Tue, 11 Feb 2014 13:58:18 +0000

I love this. I have come to accept that my dogs aren’t perfect, and that’s ok.

By: Pamela

Pamela — Tue, 11 Feb 2014 13:08:30 +0000

In reply to RumpyDog!. Yes, every time I see another reminder that pet products are a billion dollar industry, I throw up a little in my mouth. Luckily, dogs don't accompany us into most stores and whine until we buy them what they want. So it's just up to us adults to make smart decisions about what products are best for our animals.

By: Pamela

Pamela — Tue, 11 Feb 2014 13:06:24 +0000

In reply to Clowie.

Your female biped is right to criticize serious media for enforcing unrealistic standards as well. And I get really mad when I see that men are allowed to look paunchy and ordinary while women in the same business have to look perfect.

I guess it’s lucky for you that you’re naturally beautiful. Or else your female biped might be jealous. 🙂

By: Pamela

Pamela — Tue, 11 Feb 2014 13:04:23 +0000

In reply to Dawn.

I think it reflects very well on you when you cross the street with Pierson when dogs are coming. It means you’re in tuned with his needs and care to keep him from becoming anxious and for frightening other dogs.

It didn’t make it into this post, but when I’m considering this topic, I think about service dogs. They are bred and socialized to the very highest standards. Organizations spend thousands of dollars in training. And yet a high percentage of dogs wash out of the program and never become service dogs.

If it were possible to change every dog into exactly what we thought they should be, don’t you think Guide Dogs of America would have done it by now?

By: Pamela

Pamela — Tue, 11 Feb 2014 12:58:33 +0000

In reply to Taryn.

I’d be curious to know if it really is universal? Or if some cultures are more subject to it than others.

The U.S. is quite famous for it’s self help culture. I wonder if everyone is as prone to it as we are. Especially if they aren’t exposed to as much television.

BTW, how is the knee? Are you getting back to normal?

By: Pamela

Pamela — Tue, 11 Feb 2014 12:56:21 +0000

In reply to Margaret T. Ooooh, thanks for the click and treat. :) And as I get older, I'm finding kindness is the best fallback position. Sometimes it fails me. But not nearly as often as it works.

By: Pamela

Pamela — Tue, 11 Feb 2014 12:55:29 +0000

In reply to Roxy the traveling dog. If only we could share this message with our younger friends so they could learn to accept themselves sooner. :)