I have always kept an eye on my dog at the dogpark and been frustrated by the people that just let their dogs run wild . .it’s another one of those things that I’m working on!!

Well, now that I read this again I can see how judgmental this sounded. What I was trying to say is I don’t have a problem with dog parks, love them and I think it’s great that you take “our friend” to them.

Since I’m =one of those who tries to prevent the conflict before it begins, I often wish that people would be aware of where their dogs are at any given time so the rest of us who are there don’t have to keep an eye on their dog for them. I’ve seen too many dogs get into trouble because their owner wasn’t paying attention to what was going on. It scares me when a dog is attacked and no one prevented it.
Sorry Lori!

I like that AJ.

It sounds to me like you see conflict coming, and you choose to address it but in a more subtle way. I tend to think that’s the smarter way to address conflict if possible – calmly and rationally explaining your interpretation of the regulations at play (PS – you rock!), or atttempting to alert someone to the fact that they’re being mean by making a humorous comment to alert that Facebook poster that perhaps they’ve stepped over the line. Unfortunately, that person was too dense to catch the social cue you were sending and decided to be a jerk. Sometimes, it’s not worth the effort to engage jerks like that – it’s not so much conflict avoidance as choosing not to beat your head against a wall. 🙂

I think you’re right – there’s no need to fear conflict. I prefer to say that I dislike conflict, but will engage in it when necessary or I think that it’s worth standing my ground. However, I’ll do it on my terms and in my way. The person who can argue a point calmly and rationally is the one who is the winner in my book, not the person who is the loudest.

I’m guessing most people think I’m the one who seeks conflict based on recent events, but I actually hate conflict. I avoid it if I can, with the exception of anything related to puppy mills and a few animal welfare issues. Those two issues I am willing to stand up for if I believe a wrong is being done or perpetuated.

However, when I disagree with someone, I try to engage them in a reasoned way. I prefer to have a discussion (less conflict) to a shouting match (more conflict). I don’t know about you, but it seems like reasoned discussion, where each person gets a chance to speak, each listens to one another and tries to understand the other person’s point of view, seems to be lacking these days. I enjoy having people share their points of view. I prefer to learn than attack.

I think dogs prefer to learn too. I think they prefer to avoid conflict for the most part, but sometimes how they speak to one another can look like conflict. With a few exceptions, they seem to resolve most issues themselves. That doesn’t mean I’m not watching and ready to intervene if needed. Dogs can teach us humans a lot of things.

By the way, kudos on your successful persuasion with the gov’t rep. Can I hire you?

Lori – I talk at the dog park too. I don’t mind people standing and talking to one another as long as they are aware of where their dog is at any given time. Most;y we all walk and talk and the dogs run. My personal issue is with the folks on cell phones the whole time and don’t even know where their dog is or what they are up to. I’m one of the people who tries to prevent before anything happens, although I suppose people might think me the reactionary one because I react to prevent and they see someone reacting when there’s nothing going on. I think it’s great you take “our friend” to the dog park as long as he loves it and you do too. That’s my dog people connection too. 🙂

How a person treats you is their karma.
How you respond to it is yours.

It may not be perfect, but it works for me.

As Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl says, “The one thing you can’t take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one’s freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance.” Frankl

In that moment of choice, we discover the power of our true self.

I can’t understand it either! Especially when the people are on the same team and care about the same things. It baffles me. This is why I am too scared to talk to strangers!