Note: This post is not explicit and is rated PG-13. It leaves most things to your imagination. Of course, if your imagination makes it rated R or X, don’t blame Something Wagging This Way Comes.
You can’t spend five minutes in dog blogville without reading a complaint about a dog who hogs the bed. But are bloggers worried about losing sleep? Or are dogs interfering with other bedroom activities?
Sex and Positive Reinforcement
My first dogs, Agatha and Christie, had a colorful sexual history with us. And I’m not just talking about their incestuous, girl-on-girl action performances for company.
No, the excitement came when anyone tried to make physical contact.
A hug for a visiting family member spurred a round of barking. A few dance steps made the living room echo with more sounds than a dog pound.
And sex? Well let’s just say that we worried more than once that our neighbors would call the police.
But here’s the crazy thing. After 16 years of a dog who barked every time we had sex, I noticed a strange side effect.
Every time I heard a woof, I got turned on.
Our next dog, Shadow, was far less excitable.
Yes, she wanted to be on the bed with us. But Shadow was content to snooze at the foot. As long as she had a comfy spot, she waited happily for us to turn her attention to her.
I still don’t know if Shadow was particularly mellow. Or if we were just terribly boring.
What Moves the Dog
Honey is also content to snooze on the bed with us no matter what activities we’re doing—sleeping, reading, or you know.
But she’s not as polite as Shadow was. No bottom of the bed for Honey.
Of course we hate to disturb her. For a while.
Let’s just say my husband has a new sex move. It’s one where he gets up, picks up the dog, and moves her to the bottom of the bed.
And cuddling will never be the same again (why is it that men insist on cuddling? haven’t they ever heard of sleep?). What would I do without a canine toenail, post-sex, kidney massage?
Who Controls Sex
One of the biggest powers humans have over canines is deciding when or if they can reproduce.
Maybe dogs who whine, bark, paw, or sniff during sex are getting their revenge.
Your Turn: Any embarrassing sex stories involving your dog? Are you brave enough to share?