What Dog People Really Want To Know

I scanned the list of search phrases that bring people to Something Wagging. 

Yep, lots of the usual suspects: “woman dog sex” (thanks to this post), “golden retriever” (obviously), and “how to dispose of dog poop” (thanks to this post).

But then I saw it. The search phrase that made me gag.

“Why do dogs freak out when you lick them?”

Did you get that? “Why do dogs freak out when you lick them?”

Honey the Golden Retriever sheds.

Go ahead and lick me. I won’t freak out.

Is that what dog people really want to know?

And just who is licking their dog?

I thought of setting up a cute shot to illustrate the search phrase. But much as I love Honey, I can’t bring myself to lick her. I get enough hair on my tongue just sharing a bedroom with her.

Two hairless dogs.

As cute as they are, I don’t even think I’d lick a mostly hairless dog.

What else do dog people really want to know? Well according to my search stats, the list includes:

  • golden retriever butt
  • how to know if a dog is crazy
  • why does my dog’s tail wag in a circle
  • how much time should I spend with my dog
  • dog chastity belts
  • how much should you put up with
  • cutest dogs in the world that don’t shed
  • what would your dog look like as a human

A look at my own searching history would probably also bring up unique, embarrassing, and just plain weird questions about dogs as well.

But I’m not going to look it up. I have a feeling I’d rather not know.

Your Turn: What’s the strangest search phrase you’ve ever used to find out something about dogs?

Travels With Casey Book Giveaway Ending Soon

Travels with CaseyOnly a few hours left to win your copy of Travels With Casey (affiliate).

The giveaway is open to eligible readers in the continental U.S. Anyone else can order their own copy using the link above.

Don’t wait. Click on the picture to read my review and enter using the Rafflecopter tool.

Good luck!

photo credit: (hairless dogs)talese_estelle via photopin cc. Click on the image to learn more about the photographer.

Disclosure: Links marked as “affiliate” will take you to Amazon where you can order the book. If you buy something after clicking the link, I will earn a few cents but you will not pay more. Thanks for supporting Something Wagging.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...


  1. Hmmmm, I don’t think I have searched for a weird thing in regards to the dogs. I do get some odd stuff that lands people on my blog though. Inquiring minds out there.

  2. We always find searches interesting. On TV and in real life, the things criminals search for on their own computers before committing crimes is something too. We don’t want to see all our searches and we are afraid to see what people that find us are searching for. You are brave to delve into all that! PS Mom never licks us either 😉

  3. I don’t know how to find out what people googled to land on my blog. I have actually changed a couple of blog title posts or reworded things so that no one thinks they are coming upon something that I am not at all trying to address. 😉

  4. Not sure I’ve searched for anything weird, but people looking for articles about horse poo seem to find my blog lol

  5. Oh, it’s always fun to look at those. I haven’t looked at mine in a while. Need to do that!

    Who’s our there licking their dog?!

  6. Gosh, I can’t even remember. I probably look up bizarre things every day in the name of blog research. At least, this is my excuse.

    Probably the weirdest as of late is dog warts and all things of that ilk. 😛 Shiva has this stubborn bulbousy thing on her mouth that won’t go away. The vet confirmed it’s wartiness and said we could have it removed but I’d rather avoid the sedation. Blargh.

  7. Mike Webster says:

    From the Husband:
    “Man seeks woman who licks dogs.”

  8. My weirdest dog question search phrase-“Why is my dog peeing on my vacuum?”

    Bruce had some anxiety issues, needless to say…

  9. It’s like the world will never be the same for me. Before I came to your blog today, the sky was blue, the grass was green and the world was not filled with weird people who lick their dog!

  10. They don’t want to lick me, they say they get enough of my hair without trying that!
    I think some of the searches that land on my blog are funny, but most of them are fairly understandable – questions about the behaviour of my breed.

  11. P.S. They don’t much like it when I lick them either! They’re just weird!

  12. I can imagine the reasons behind some of those questions, but most of them are way out there. I admit I like the smell of my dog’s feet, but I would never lick them! And what would my dogs look like a humans? They’d probably wouldn’t even be half as cute.

  13. Actually, I think I have to confess that my searches fall into the category of “boring”. Complicated sometimes, but boring as heck.