Therapy Dog From Hell

Honey the Golden Retriever should be a therapy dog?

I’m getting a message from the universe. Someone is sick and needs my care. Where’s my squeaky toy?

“My dog understands how to behave around sick people. She takes extra care when she knows someone is frail.”

Those words don’t apply to Honey.

My Dog is a Bad Nurse

I had a bad night. Much as I enjoy creating word pictures for my readers, I’ll just say I have a small case of food poisoning.

So I’m home with Honey to take care of me.

Let me tell you how it’s going so far.

Mike took Honey for her walk. She came back just getting started. First she jumped up on the bed landing firmly on my cramped stomach. After dancing around a few minutes, she ran out of the room.

Seconds later I heard her playing with her loudest squeaky toy. After about a minute, she switched to a new toy—her second loudest squeaky and brought it in to show me.

When she tired of that, Honey once again used my body as a launching pad so she could run downstairs to bark at the kids going to school.

Yep, it’s going to be a long morning.

Will You Be Doing Therapy Work?

Honey and I make a good match. She has no ability to respond carefully to someone who’s not feeling well. And I’m afraid of hospitals and sick people.

I guess we’ll keep looking for a program that needs dogs who jump on people and squeak toys in their ears.


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  1. She sounds terrific. She’s doing all these things to keep your mind off your stomach.
    Get well soon.

  2. Feel better soon Pamela! I’m certain she’s trying to help push all that poison out of you. :-)

  3. There are all different sorts of bedside manners. Honey just has a unique set.

    Get better soon

  4. I totally relate to this one! If I am in bed sick, and my hubby is gone to work, the dogs still just think I’m there to serve them…..what, you don’t feel well? You don’t want to play ball? You don’t want to let us in and out countless times? Or listen to us bark at everything (usually non-existent things)? So I feel your pain….but at least we have our dogs to keep us company, so we are not lonely when we are sick! Feel better soon!

  5. Funny, I was just saying to my friend the other day how I’ve heard of these mythical dogs that actually know when you don’t feel well, and they come and sit beside you and try to make you feel better. I’ve certainly never had one of those kinda creatures! In fact, I videoed Abby’s “demands” that I play with her when I had a bad cold one day and just wanted to chill on the sofa.

    Hope you feel better soon!

  6. Bwahahahaha! Oh, you poor thing! I’m so sorry. Bad Honey! Maybe you can work with children? Pop over to my blog to vote for a treat?

  7. Poor Pamela! I understand! But I’d rather have my pups pestering me all day than not have them at all. They make me smile when I’m feeling down and make me laugh when I feel like crying. What better therapy is there than the unconditional love of our dogs?!

  8. Awwww, I am so sorry you are feeling so poorly! Hopefully this illness is brief and you feel much better soon. :-(

    Shiva is a terrible nurse as well. It’s a good thing I don’t get sick very often as even when I am she expects me to take her for runs in the park. No rest for this dog owner either.

    Hopefully Mike does a better job caring for you than Honey!

  9. Oh hey, I bet jumping on your tummy made you forget the other kind of ache. Lucky stuff didn’t get squished out 😉 Get well soon X

  10. Oh no! I hope that you start to feel better, really soon! :-( I can certainly understand what you are going through with Honey! My kitty brothers are absolutely horrible when someone is feeling ill. If something hurts, they will 100% attach themselves to that spot…tummy hurts? One or all three will stand or bounce on it! Then they will start a huge cat fight, preferably, on top of you! Urg!

  11. I hope you feel better soon, and maybe it will help to hear all the laughter coming from your readers. Not about your illness, but about your terrific writing.

  12. There are times that Elka is VERY gentle with people, most notably children. However, there are times she’s just too enthusiastic with her caring of people, whether they feel bad or not.

  13. I’m so sorry that you’re sick, but man did I laugh over this post! Sometimes those tender mercies can be a lot to take. I hope you’re feeling better soon!

  14. I’m so sorry you’re sick – I think she was trying to cheer you up :)

  15. You poor girl! Hope you are feeling better soon! Maybe she was thought she had to resuscitate you and got the wrong spot??

    It’s hard being sick with animals sometimes. Hope you get some rest. :)

  16. I hope you feel better soon! Honey sounds a lot like Leroy when I’m not feeling well!

    • I had to stop back and tell you that I thought of you and Honey today because I stayed home sick today from work and Leroy jumped on me 3 times, which is 3 more times then he has jumped on me all week and more than once he sat in front of me while I was laying on the couch and just barked and barked!

      • Poor Jen. Sounds like Leroy and Honey are twin pups from different mothers.

        Hope you feel better soon! Your ribs probably couldn’t take too many Leroy jumps.

  17. My peoples didn’t think I’d make a good therapy dog either. Some dogs are more intuned to peoples, and others, like me and Honey, try to use the “clown” method of cheering you peoples up. P.S. Hope you are feeling better!

  18. I almost feel bad for chuckling. I have had food poisoning. I know how awful you must have felt. I sure hope you are feeling better today Pamela.

    When I was really, really sick after I got Cupcake back? I could barely get up to let the dogs out twice or 3 times a day. Jasper, my very busy boy, slept beside me and watched over me. Think I should enroll him in therapy dog class? :)

  19. Sounsa like Honey is as good a nurse as me, she is clearly trying to distract you from her pain, and they always say to apply pressure on those dotor shows – I am sure she will have you back to your old self soon! (Not that you are old – just a saying! Typist gets very touchy about her age so I wanted to make that point now!)

  20. Perhaps Honey thought you had a concussion and she was trying to keep you from falling asleep? Falling asleep with a concussion is terribly dangerous. Did you fully explain the diagnosis to her so she could decide on an appropriate treatment?

    Felix is a fantastic therapy dog. Back in the days before raw feeding, we even had him certified and did visits. He thrived in that environment.

    Koly on the other hand? Koly is still the most important one in the room, regardless of you might be feeling and you’d best be treating him with the care and attention he deserves!