The Poopy Puppy Pouch of Death

Me: “What’s that smell?”

Mike: “Smells like swiss cheese.”

Me: “It smells like POOP!”

And so it begins. Pondering the puzzling putrescence that pounded our perceptions.

Honey the golden retriever sniffs the trail.

Ahh, a mystery. I’ll sniff it out.

I hadn’t been in the basement for the past few days. So putting my bike away after sailing was my first exposure to the fetid odor that clung to the lower level of our house.

Mike had been downstairs every day. He had even gotten our bikes out for the ride to the sailing center that very day and made no mention of the rank stench that bitch slapped me as soon as I came in the door.

But what was it?

Mike insisted it was mustiness. After all, the humidifier showed the local humidity was over 60%. We just needed to get some air moving and the smell would clear out quickly.

To me, there is only one stench that strong—putrefying dog poop. But how?

We had no foster pups or guest dogs recently. And it certainly wasn’t Honey. She was house trained within two weeks of coming to live with us and had only been sick enough to poop in the house once in the past four years.

Was someone waiting until we left the basement door open and sneaking dog poop in to a hidden crevice or corner?

I was getting paranoid. It must be due the fetid stink that filled our basement and was now filtering up into the kitchen.

Golden Retriever on a walk

He’s so dramatic!

Two long and tortuous days later Mike came upstairs with something in its hand.

“I found what was causing the smell,” he said.

Dangling from his fingers was a plastic bread bag. In the plastic bread bag was a flushable dog poop bag. And in the Flush Doggy bag was… Well, you know.

Over a week earlier we had taken Honey to see Ghostbusters in the park (the movie, not men in jumpsuits with poltergeist traps). After she made one of her special deposits for our collection, I put the flushable bag inside a plastic bag just in case (I’m pleased to say that although they degrade in water, the flushable bags held up even after a week). And then I put the bags into an adorable little pouch on the back of the Doggy Ride trailer.

No one had to carry it. It stayed outside the trailer. And we’d take care of it when we got home.

Doggy Ride poopy puppy pouch.

Except we didn’t.

By the time we arrived home at 11:30 p.m. we got the bike cart emptied out (mostly) and went to bed. Forgetting all about the poopy puppy pouch and its malodorous time bomb.

Four days after disposing of our graveolent gift the smell lingers. But at least I can wash a load of laundry without a gas mask.

Honey the golden retriever lies in her crate.

What a big fuss about some poop. It smells fine to me.

On the bright side, I think we’ve discovered a non-lethal weapon whose very presence would cause bad guys to weep before they could do their evil deeds.

Now I just need to come up with a scarier name than the poopy puppy pouch of death.

Your Turn: Please tell me I’m not the only one. Have you ever found dog poop you left behind? 

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Comments

  1. Yep. Left in the car trunk during 95 degree days. Didn’t drive for a couple of days over the weekend. Monday A.M. – GAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

  2. Bwaaaaa ha ha ha! No, I haven’t, but it’s something I could TOTALLY see my other half doing! Thank you for a good laugh this morning!

  3. No, I never, ever, ever, left any poop behind. That’s because all the puppy poop in our house is deposited right out in the open, where we will be sure to step in it. After reading this post, I lined up the 6 Wieners on the couch and read to them the following words you wrote: “….And it certainly wasn’t Honey. She was house trained within two weeks of coming to live with us and had only been sick enough to poop in the house once in the past four years.” Looking only slightly guilty, they all suddenly became fascinated with chewing on their butts, tails and paws, and with the exception of the occasional raised eyebrow to see if I was still glaring at them, managed to ignore me and my message.

  4. Yep, yesterday. I pulled my rain coat out of the closet so Torrey and I could go walk. I put my hand in my pocket, and pulled out a full poop bag. No smell in the closet, and I have no idea when the last time was I wore this jacket. The poop was Roxy’s, so small. I’m sure that made the difference.

    • Yeah, I’m afraid I’ve done the same thing. It’s a good thing we’re both married. Because I can only imagine how hard it would be find someone to date when we carry poop around in our pockets. :)

  5. BAHAHAHA, I did that once last year. I took Sampson to the vet and after that a walk in one of his favorite places and he did his pooping business, but there was no place to dispose of it, so I threw it on the floor of the car and drove home.

    When I got in the car the next morning, I was reminded that the poop bag was still in the car, as the overpowering stench (what did you say? oh yes) bitch slapped me in the face. LOL

    I loved this post, I love posts about poops, but you knew that. I do still want to hear the Snow White and Rose Red post though. :-)

  6. I’ve done this so many times I can’t count them! The poop goes in my jacket pocket, the walk continues, I pass multiple trashcans but forget to unload, get home and put my jacket back in the closet. I don’t think of it again until I open the closet door to get out the vacuum or use the jacket again! Thank goodness my neighborhood supplies extra high quality poop bags which contain the smell better than most!

    • Y’know, I’ve never seen a poop bag reviewed that looked at the ability to contain the smell after a few days or even a week.

      But if I were you, I’d write a thank you letter to whoever supplies your poop bags. :)

  7. Hahaha this is too funny! I’ve never left poop anywhere, but I’ve left horrible (or delicious if you ask the dogs) smelling treats in the car. Windows down regardless of the temperature!

  8. I don’t remember….do you know if dog poop vapors have a long-term impact on brain cell vitality and capacity?

  9. I just discovered Purggo. It seems to be a non-toxic answer to poop related problems if the odors dissipate over time.

    • After reading your review, I did put a couple of charcoal filters in the basement. I’m hoping it’s not a regular enough problem that I need to invest in anything better. :)

  10. No, but years ago Tino pooped in the house after we left them in the house for too long…and just before people were coming to view the house as we were trying to sell it. We smelled it but couldn’t find it. He’d gone to the back bedroom and backed into a corner to do it.

  11. I am always so afraid I will do that. I’ve left string cheese in a baggy too long – Harlow’s agility treats – and have found new life forms in her back pack, but never poop. Hopefully, never poop…

    Monty and Harlow

    • Heck, I bet Harlow wouldn’t mind string cheese with a bit of bacteria. Isn’t that what cheese is anyway? :)

    • Mike Webster says:

      From the Husband:
      Did the string cheese smell as bad as rancid poop? If so, then rancid poop could smell as good as swiss cheese. Am I right? My wife seems to have put my long-standing and well-deserved reputation for brain cell vitality and capacity on trial here, so I need, repeat, need, an answer to this pressing inquiry just as fast as humanly possible. (Sort of.)

      • I’m a little alarmed that cheese and poop smell similar when one is good and the other is going bad…

        …and yes, it smelled as bad as poop. I contemplated throwing out the whole gear bag…

        😉

  12. I’m so afraid of this happening to me, I will retrace my steps a few times to ensure I didn’t make that same mistake. But I must confess, I chuckled reading this story, perhaps because it wasn’t me searching for the origin of the smell – BOL

  13. No, but we always have the issue of the garbage can after a few days in the summer. Old poop really can smell things up!

    • The whole reason I went to the flushable bags was because our town charges $3.75 per 35 pound garbage bag. Since we compost and rarely eat meat, it takes us a month or two to have enough trash to dump, even with the poop.

      You’re right, it’s deadly.

  14. BOL!!! Actually our mom would scoop it up as it leaves our system! Can’t say she’s ever left it behind. We can only imagine the smell! BOL!!

    • Maybe it’s just a problem for humans. Honey hasn’t complained. :)

      BTW, I’m kinda curious about your mom’s “scoop it up as it leaves our system” technique. Does she standby with a catcher’s mitt covered in poop bag or what?

  15. I am so pleased it’s not just me! I’ve forgotten about it at least twice, once it was in the boot for a couple of days. I’d returned BD to the ex in a rush and don’t use the boot unless I have BD so it was left until I had BD the next time about 4 days later. Luckily it was winter so it didn’t smell but still I felt a bit ashamed and minging on discovering I had been driving it around for a while!

    • After reading all the comments, you’re in a special club. Apparently the big divide in dog loving circles is between people who forget the poop and people who NEVER forget the poop.

      Or maybe they’re just lying. :)

  16. Not in the house, but once when we were heading home from a walk I walked past the garbage can (head was in the clouds) put the poo bags in the car and then left them there. I remembered an hour after we got home and spent the day airing my car out. Thank heavens it was summer time.