Let’s talk about men and their balls.
They are a never ending source of amusement, from the bad puns (anyone for Schweddy Balls?) to giving baseball players something to play with between innings.
But does the male “attachment” to his testicles prevent him from neutering his dog?
Never fear. Neuticles® are here.
Neuticles: Testicular Implants for Pets
Some men with pets are surprised to find that neutering their animal means he will lose his testicles. Greg Miller was one.The shock of his discovery led him to the inventor’s table, where he developed and patented the artificial testicle. How’s that for a claim to fame?
No longer must your dog awaken from anesthesia, go to lick himself, and come up with nothing but air.
He’s Got the Look
The choice to have your vet implant Neuticles, is purely aesthetic.
If a dog’s people were truly interested in keeping him “whole,” (the word most used by Neuticles customers), they’d ask their vet to perform a vasectomy so the dog could keep his testicles, along with his mounting, his roaming in search of in-heat bitches, and all the other charming traits powered by testosterone.
But they’re not that crazy. They just want their dog to look like he’s packing a complete set of dingly-danglies.
Preventing Unwanted Puppies
The best argument in favor of Netuticles is that their availability may convince people hesitant to neuter their pets, to do the right thing.
The Neuticles website refers to a 1997 ASPCA newsletter article in which the animal welfare organization claimed it had no problem with any product that convinced more people to neuter their pets.
And since 250,000 implants have been performed without reported health risks, I’m inclined to take the same stance, even as I laugh my head off.
Sometimes You Just Have to Laugh
For me, the best thing about neuticles is the joy it’s brought to so many. Here are just some of the humorous links I’ve found:
- Satirical articles here and here of the dog’s point of view regarding neuticles, written by Jeff Kinman.
- Proof that the makers of neuticles don’t take themselves too seriously (laughing all the way to the bank, anyone?), they also sell neuticles earrings, aprons, t-shirts, and bathrobes. Christmas is coming. You can check out all the swanky Neuticles merchandise here.
- And for a chance to see Neuticles in their home environment, this video shows Greg Miller showing off his dog Winston’s churchills.
Although most of the folks who comment here are women, I know there are men out there too. I’ve seen you in my Alexa ratings and as subscribers and Facebook fans. So come out with it. What do you think of Neuticles? And ladies, I want to know what you think too.
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