It’s freaking cold. But my blueberry bushes have buds and my tulips are four inches out of the ground. It must be spring.
What does spring mean?
Alfred Lord Tennyson said that “in spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.” It’s not what my thoughts turn to. I’m already drowning in dog hair.
Time to come up with more creative uses for the stuff. What about these?
1. Turning all my black clothing into gold. No one would ever know what color it started out as.
2. Preventing breakage. At this point, any glass that drops on the floor would be softly cushioned.
3. Readily available bookmarks. Save your book’s spine; just reach for a clump of that fuzz sitting on your sofa.
4. Earplugs. Complaining kids? Loud neighbors? Dog hair conforms to your ear canal preventing any sound from getting through.
5. Clean up greasy spills. That frying pan full of hamburger grease is no problem when you have mats of hair to absorb it.
6. Fill plaster holes. Hey, in the old days they used horse hair in plaster.
7. Breast enhancement. Why spend thousands of dollars and months healing when you can fill your bra to create any size and shape you want?
9. Confetti. If you think people get pissed off when you mail tiny pieces of glittery confetti to them, just think how relieved they’ll be when you only send dog hair.
10. Make a new dog. I’d love another dog. But it’s just not the time. Maybe I can sculpt a little friend for Honey?
Anyone else seeing their dogs start to shed? What creative uses do you have for all the stuff?