Should You Get A Dog? Only If…

You can take a quiz for darn near any decision you need to make. I know you’ve seen them too:

“Are You Ready To Marry Him? Take Our Quiz.”

“Is Now The Right Time To Go Back To School? Answer Five Easy Questions To Find Out.”

“Is Your Boyfriend Kinky? A Cosmo Quiz Tells You All”

And sometimes, you’ll find a quiz that asks a really important question. Like “Should you get a dog?”

Honey the golden retriever asks: Should you get a dog?A good dog quiz will ask if you plan to have kids, if you spend hours away from home, and if you can afford vet visits. But they never mention the important questions that separate the real dog people from the posers.

I’m going to lay it out here straight so everyone knows.

Don’t Get a Dog Unless You…

love feeling your contact lens suction to your eyeball with a fine dog hair pressed against your cornea

are okay with your photo collection containing six pictures of your recent vacation and six thousand pictures of your dog being cute

like eating a cracker over the sink for dinner because you’re too tired to cook after preparing a nutritionally complete meal for your sensitive-tummy dog

enjoy picking up warm poop in your (plastic-covered) hands at least twice every day

Honey the golden retriever as a cute puppy.

Think cleaning up after a puppy isn’t hard? Just remember what they say: “It gets bigger.”

don’t mind every second stranger saying to you, “Oh, he’s so cute; can I pet him?”

can ignore that painful, spreading rash on your body because your dog whimpered and you’re wondering if you should take her to the vet, just in case

like the sound of a doorbell followed by a cacophony of barks

find you just don’t sleep as well unless you have a tail brushing against your nose and a paw pressing into your belly button

Honey the golden retriever puppy sleeps in her crate.

I don’t know what you’re complaining about. Forty pounds ago, you thought it was cute I slept in this position.

like slipping in the insidious drool that appears beside your foot when you eat

enjoy spending hundreds of dollars on interactive toys just to find your dog tugging on your dirty underwear hanging from the bathroom doorknob

want to feel a cool, damp nose at the back of your knee every time you go into another room

can spend more time quizzing the car sales rep about a car’s suitability for transporting your dog than about its fuel efficiency or cost

Honey the golden retriever looks out the car window.

Yes, I think this would do nicely.

are cool including dog hair in the tape on every wrapped package, every paint job, and those muffins you made for your charity bake sale

And most importantly of all, don’t get a dog unless you

know that for all the expense, aggravation, and mess a dog can bring into your life, it’s a small price to pay for the best friend you’ll ever love.

Get Your Dog An Adventure Ramp

We’re a little more than a week away from awarding a fabulous Solvit Telescoping Dog Ramp to one lucky reader. Have you entered to win?

And don’t forget, you can get a new chance to win every day just by tweeting. So what are you waiting for? Go add your entries to the Rafflecopter.

Your Turn: I’ve missed a few things on my list. Add your own—Don’t Get a Dog Unless…






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  1. Laura Hess says:

    You love having a constant companion-especially in the bathroom.

  2. For us, getting a dog is like having a baby. You are probably never really ready, but once you jump in, you are in for the good and the bad and forever. That forever part is the part people need to remember before they jump. Getting Bailie was a several month struggle for Mom. She wanted a puppy but three of us is a lot to handle. In the end, she jumped and we all won, but it is not always easy, it is always expensive, it is fun, it is very frustrating, but if you are committed it is the best thing since sliced bread!

  3. Haha! Truth! It’s like you spied on us the last time we went car-shopping.
    The Dog Time Quiz says I’m ready to adopt a dog… I think there is a huge blind spot in lack of questions concerning existing pets! Or maybe it’s not “am I ready for ANOTHER dog?” and that was my error. lol

  4. enjoy stepping in chocolate pudding in your bare feet.

  5. So many things I could relate to! We recently bought a new vehicle and the only thing we really cared about was how well our dogs would fit 😉 The sales rep kept assuring us that our two dogs would fit until we brought them and he realized what size Great Pyrenees actually are!

  6. I’m glad I answered those yes!

  7. of the 1400 pictures I currently have on my phone, at least 1000 of them are of my dogs! All so true. : )

  8. Julie McDowell says:

    Ahh…and you forgot…unless you like waking up 365 days a year at 6am just to let your best friend relieve himself.

    • What’s not to love about “waking up 365 days a year at 6am just to let your best friend relieve himself?” Especially when it’s snowing? :)

  9. Dogs rule – simples!!