You can take a quiz for darn near any decision you need to make. I know you’ve seen them too:
“Are You Ready To Marry Him? Take Our Quiz.”
“Is Now The Right Time To Go Back To School? Answer Five Easy Questions To Find Out.”
“Is Your Boyfriend Kinky? A Cosmo Quiz Tells You All”
And sometimes, you’ll find a quiz that asks a really important question. Like “Should you get a dog?”
A good dog quiz will ask if you plan to have kids, if you spend hours away from home, and if you can afford vet visits. But they never mention the important questions that separate the real dog people from the posers.
I’m going to lay it out here straight so everyone knows.
Don’t Get a Dog Unless You…
love feeling your contact lens suction to your eyeball with a fine dog hair pressed against your cornea
are okay with your photo collection containing six pictures of your recent vacation and six thousand pictures of your dog being cute
like eating a cracker over the sink for dinner because you’re too tired to cook after preparing a nutritionally complete meal for your sensitive-tummy dog
enjoy picking up warm poop in your (plastic-covered) hands at least twice every day
don’t mind every second stranger saying to you, “Oh, he’s so cute; can I pet him?”
can ignore that painful, spreading rash on your body because your dog whimpered and you’re wondering if you should take her to the vet, just in case
like the sound of a doorbell followed by a cacophony of barks
find you just don’t sleep as well unless you have a tail brushing against your nose and a paw pressing into your belly button
like slipping in the insidious drool that appears beside your foot when you eat
enjoy spending hundreds of dollars on interactive toys just to find your dog tugging on your dirty underwear hanging from the bathroom doorknob
want to feel a cool, damp nose at the back of your knee every time you go into another room
can spend more time quizzing the car sales rep about a car’s suitability for transporting your dog than about its fuel efficiency or cost
are cool including dog hair in the tape on every wrapped package, every paint job, and those muffins you made for your charity bake sale
And most importantly of all, don’t get a dog unless you
know that for all the expense, aggravation, and mess a dog can bring into your life, it’s a small price to pay for the best friend you’ll ever love.
Get Your Dog An Adventure Ramp
We’re a little more than a week away from awarding a fabulous Solvit Telescoping Dog Ramp to one lucky reader. Have you entered to win?
And don’t forget, you can get a new chance to win every day just by tweeting. So what are you waiting for? Go add your entries to the Rafflecopter.
Your Turn: I’ve missed a few things on my list. Add your own—Don’t Get a Dog Unless…