My Dog Is Trying to Kill Me

Stuffed Purple Elephant

What caught my eye while taking the laundry downstairs. Not so menacing, right?


Purple Stuffed Elephant

Wait for it.


Purple Stuffed Elephant on the steps

{cue dramatic music} dunh, dunh, dunnnnnnnnhhh!


Honey must think I have lots of this.


Honey the Golden Retriever

Does this look like the face of a cold-hearted killer?


If a few days go by and you haven’t heard from me, call the FBI. I’m probably lying dead at the bottom of the stairs after slipping on a stuffie, carefully disguised in dog hair. You’ll probably find Honey charging up my credit card.
I knew I should have never taught her how to order online.

[Photo of money from Flickr.]

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  1. I know for a fact our dogs are all plotting to kill us or at least twist our ankles with their strategically placed toys. Stay vigilant Pamela!

  2. Oh, what a dastardly plot! It’s hard for me to think of Honey as that calculating and cold-hearted, though!

  3. It’s hard for me to think of someone named ‘Honey’ in that way and since I know of her love for people I’m thinking SHE might not be the culprit.

    In your previous post you mentioned you forgot your anniversary……maybe Mike is the real culprit and trying to make it look like Honey. :0

    I hope you know I’m just kidding. :-)

  4. That looks more like something a cat would do, not a sweet dog like Honey.

    We are constantly tripping over bones in our living room. I know one of these days I am going to break my foot when I accidently step on one!

  5. I agree with Kristine – it’s the cat! Honey’s being framed!

    Oh wait, you don’t have a cat…

    Uh, okay, I got nothing. 😉

  6. I think most “pet mystery” stories involve the dog helping to solve the crime, not committing it in the first place!

    That said, Gumby has almost been the end of me a few times.

  7. She must have been reading some cat manuals.

  8. I strongly suspect a dog or cat here strategically did “something” to cause my slip and subsequent broken wrist. You’re on to something here – and now we’ll have to be twice as vigilant since they’ll surely realize! Sneaky little devils…stay safe!

  9. She knows you’re the source of the treats, right? Surely, you must have done something to upset her – I just can’t imagine a harsh thought running through Honey’s sweet, furry head!

  10. But, but, just look at that sweet, innocent face! To quote a TV show “be careful out there.”

  11. It’s better than stepping in cat puke at 3:00 in the morning – maybe. I’m sure Honey is completely innocent :)

  12. How can you look at that innocent face and think Honey is planning something diabolical?