If Dogs Had Jobs…

Honey the golden retriever and cult movies.

I have a job. It’s called being cute.

I hate those movies where they dress dogs in lab coats and pretend they’re doing a human job. Those film people know nothing about dogs.

Because if dogs had jobs, everything would change.

Dogs Doing Human Jobs

Here are a few jobs that would look very different with canines doing them.

Advertising Executive – Every page of a magazine would feature a scented ad.

Police Officer – To get away, criminals caught in the act would simply toss a stick.

Nurse – Treatment for a head cold? Licking. Treatment for festering wound? Licking. I think you get the idea.

A dog nurse.

Mail Carrier – After fetching the mail, the canine carrier would wait at the door for you to toss it back.

Chef – To perfect the dish, dog chefs constantly taste the food. Unfortunately, nothing ever gets served.

Video Director – All music videos would look like this one:

Mystery Writer – In the end, it’s always the cat who commits the murder.

Park Maintenance Worker – The parks would be emptied of dropped hot dogs, chicken wings, and squirrels.

Baseball Player – The game would change since all dogs play defense all the time.

Scientist – We’d no longer have GMOs in our food. But we’d be much closer to knowing how to keep socks stinky even after washing.

Transportation Engineers – All roads would lead to the park. And maybe the ice cream stand.

Hey, maybe putting dogs in human dogs isn’t such a bad idea.

Best City for Pet Travelers

The voters (and the sharks) have spoken. Cape May, New Jersey is a better city for Pet Travelers than New Smyrna Beach, Florida. Thank you so much for supporting us by voting in the contest.

But we have a tough road ahead. In round two, Cape May, the best little shore town no one has ever heard of is up against Key West, Florida. I’m getting my trash talking ready. But let me just give you one reason why Cape May is more pet friendly than Key West: the ferry.

Taking your pet on the Cape May ferry? Here are the restrictions: You can’t take your dog into the indoor dining areas.

Honey the Golden Retriever at the Cape May Lewes Ferry Terminal

Oooh, can we take the ferry?

That’s it. There’s no extra fee. Your dog doesn’t have to be crated. He’s not subject to limited spaces for pets.

Here are the pet restrictions for the Key West ferry:

  • All animals must be crated.
  • They are subject to a fee.
  • They are subject to limitations on how many animals are allowed on board.

Yeah, that sounds pet friendly to me.

Cape May is the beach voted second best in the U.S. and 9th best in the world by TripAdvisor. It’s a lovely place to visit with your pet.

Vote for Cape May in round two (we’re fifth up from the bottom). Vote for all your other favorite pet travel destinations. And thanks for your enthusiastic support.

Stop back tomorrow for my tips on dining out with your reactive dog and more trash talk about Key West.

Your Turn: What job would your dog do differently than a human?
photo credit: (Dog Nurse) aussiegall via photopin cc

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  1. Love that music video! I bet the outtakes would be hilarious.

    My addition: dogs in management – frequent breaks for outside time and naps. Sounds great to me!

  2. Great list…Jack wants you to add gardening, his favorite job 😉

  3. Taxi driver: All Passengers must roll the windows down and stick their heads out.

    Fashion designer: Fur is totally in, but only if you can grow it yourself.

    Psychiatrist: More walks for everyone!

  4. Love the dogs with jobs!!!! your descriptions are perfect. And the video is amazing! Thanks!

  5. I adore that music video. Everyone’s having so much FUN! Utility worker: All that digging! Opera singer: Madame Butt-erfly takes on a whole new meaning!

    • Can’t believe I didn’t think of any digging jobs. Must be trying to wipe it from my memory.

      Love Madame Butt-erfly. But I’ve always been a big Pooch-ini fan. 🙂 I’m especially fond of Turna-dog.

  6. If I were a realtor, I would make sure I only sold homes with enough large trees to house squirrels, places for wabbits to build nests and get rid of fences.

  7. I love the video!!!