Guest Post: A Honey of a Name

Golden Retriever lying on man.

I'd lick your face if you'd make it worth my while. Where's that peanut butter jar?

Those of you who have followed my wife Pam’s blog will quickly have established that we own a Golden Retriever named Honey. The name fits her perfectly, and was selected only after having put each other through an arduous process of going through lists of possible food products. (Neither “Sugar” nor “Syrup” were quite right; and “Beef Wellington” was eliminated fairly early.)

But since “Honey” is also a common term of endearment between Pam and me, I am often asked (as I was by some of Pam’s colleagues at work recently) if we have trouble telling at any given moment to whom it is being addressed.

To all such inquirers, I reply that context is key. It’s not as hard as you might imagine, once you’ve put your mind to it, to distinguish between “Honey, please take out the garbage” and “Honey, please don’t eat the garbage.”

Even so, there are times when a statement is subtle enough to require inside information to make the right call.

So, for your personal edification, please take note: if I tell you, “This morning, my honey ‘kissed’ my face,” you might reasonably and defensibly choose between two distinct possibilities. But the statement, “This morning, my honey licked my face” can present only one.

Because my dog doesn’t like me nearly enough for that.

[Thanks, Sweetie, for the guest post.]

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  1. 😀 😀 😀 That’s hilarious. Sounds like Honey has brough a lot of fun (and confusion) to your lives…Next time we get a dog, we’ll call it ‘Baby’ 😉

    • I guess it’s better to have a dog called “Honey” that causes confusion than a dog named “Knucklehead” that causes confusion.

      If George is any indication, you seem like the kind of person who likes a dog with some spunk. I can’t see you adopting a dog that really fits the name “Baby.” But if you do, I can’t wait to read about her.

      • Ha, ha, neither can I, to be honest. I do like a dog with a bit of attitude…makes life more interesting.
        “Knucklehead”… 😀 😀 😀

  2. How did you get Mike to write a guest post? I have been trying for months to get my practically husband to write a post and still nothing. Seriously. I want to know your secrets!

    You two are both so funny. :-)

    • MIke’s a show-off. I couldn’t keep him from writing something in hopes of getting some attention if I wanted to. :)

      On the other hand, I’ve been trying to get him to finish a story about how he tried to bring dog poop home in a snowball when he forgot a baggie and he’s still not finished. I think the memory is still traumatic for him.

      If the PH won’t write a post for you, why don’t you interview him? I’d love to hear his perspectives on Shivaliciousness and I’m sure you could turn it into a great post.

  3. I read this to my family and we were in stitches!!! Thanks for a good chuckle :) Glad to have found you through Pets Blogroll! Check us out if you get a chance:

  4. OhMyDog! I cannot wait to hear the story of bringing poop home in a snowball! Please, Mike, finish the story!!

  5. Too cute! I love the garbage example, that still has me giggling! Too funny!

  6. Mr Mike! More! Please! :)

    Honey, take out the garbage indeed. That was so good! I’m a little disappointed you chucked out Beef Wellington so quickly. I think it would have been an excellent name. I’m sure she’d have been Wellie by now.

    So says my dog, Little Pea Ratatouille.

  7. Mike Webster says:

    The author replies. . .
    . . . @Amy: Yes, I promise I will, just as soon as I work out an appropriate ending with my therapist.
    . . . @Georgia: I’d like to do more, but it is Pam’s blog after all, and we have a standing agreement that prohibits me from upstaging her too often. As for Beef Wellington, we decided in the end that you shouldn’t name a dog after what you feed it, ’cause that’s cannibalism.
    . . . @everybody: Thank you for your warm reception; I am encouraged by you all. And now Pam is really annoyed that you didn’t get the memo–the one in which she wrote, “FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM.”

  8. Well, I’m late, but I’ll pretend I didn’t get the memo. :) Very funny, indeed! And that licking thing must be a bit weird, no? 😉

  9. I was just directed to this from Kristine’s blog — so funny. Thanks for a good chuckle. He is a clever one :)