Doggy Style Pick-Up Lines

Yes, I know I’m going to get some pretty creepy traffic from this title. But I just couldn’t resist.

Inspired by Stanley Coren

Two Golden Retrievers

Ok, let's get one thing straight. I don't wrestle on the first date. Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I do.

I recently read Stanley Coren’s Born to Bark: My Adventures with an Irrepressible and Unforgettable Dog. My one sentence review: Good book if you like dogs; not so hot if you like women. Neither of the Mrs. Stanley Corens were depicted very sympathetically in this book.

But the book had its moments of humor.

One of my favorites was where Dr. Coren described the “Golden Retriever motto” as “You have a face, I have a tongue. Let’s work something out.”

My husband observed that didn’t sound like a motto. It sounded more like a pick-up line. Which got me thinking. Do other breeds and types of dogs have their own pick-up lines?

Doggy Pick-Up Lines

Dalmation: “Wanna see how far the spots go down?”

Seeing Eye Guide Dog: “Hey Baby. Do you like a dog in uniform?”

Rhodesian Ridgeback: “Yeah, I just got a big recording contract. Have you heard my latest hit? Baby Got (Ridge)Back? I like big pups and I cannot lie…”

Labrador Retriever: “If you bring the Chuck-it, I’ll bring the balls.”

St. Bernard: “You know I only want to rescue you.”

Toto: “Why go all the way to Oz? I can show you my wizard right here.”

Siberian Husky: “Wanna go for a roll in the snow?”

K9 Police Dog: “Let’s try out these handcuffs.”

Border Collie: “I’ll be there for you, Honey. I’m in this for the long run. You know I’d never try to herd you.”

Lassie: “Let’s push Timmy in the well and go off for some just you and me time.”

Hound: “Hey, I was only trying to sniff you.”

Beagle: “So let me tell you what it was like working with John, Paul, and George.”

Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever: “Let’s go duck.”

Greyhound: “I’m so fast I bet we could do it twice before the commercial is over.”

Akita: “I know a great little sushi place just down the street.”

Drug Detection Dog: “I sniffed out a little coke I’ve been holding back for a special occasion.”

French Bulldog: “I’m fluent in the zee language of l’amour.”

Great Pyrenees: “I’m not bragging, Baby. It’s right in the name.”

Your Turn 

Does your dog have a favorite pick up line? Any others I should add to the list?

Who knows? If we come up with a funny enough list, maybe we’ll inspire the next Shelter Dog Adoption Commercial!

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Comments

  1. I am so not worthy! Oh Pamela. This had me almost on the floor!
    I’m going to see if I can come up with any, but for right now I’m just re-reading them and laughing again. Toto! LOL!

  2. LOL – OMD those were great! Thanks for the note on the book. Don’t think I’ll be adding it to my list any time soon. Too many great books out there to settle for one that disses women.

    FTR, my highest “grossing” page, so to speak, is of course “Wherein Bella models her thunderwear”. It was so worth it. 😉

  3. Ha ha! I love Lassie’s line!
    Flo doesn’t have a pick up – she just sticks her nose in everyone’s crotch. Nae class. :)

  4. Those are great! I think my favorite pick-up line is… “wanna share my cookie?”

  5. *snicker snicker* These are hilarious! I think the lab is my favourite. I’d say this post is worth any potential creepy traffic. Who knows? Maybe you’ll make some new friends! 😉

    My dog isn’t the picking-up type. She usually prefers to go solo. Which is probably far too much information!

  6. Tee hee. These are great! This is the best I can come up without caffeine-

    Terrier- Hey baby, I bet you’d just dig some of this.

  7. Ha-ha! Even if I tried I couldn’t top these! Thanks for the Saturday morning laugh!

  8. Elka’s is probably “Nice face, wanna feed me?” or something along those lines. I remarked last night that I was so happy that she loved all of our friends; I just wished that she didn’t love them SO HARD.

  9. LMAO, great post… hmmm… Dalmatians, wanna see my happy spots?

    American pit bull terrier pick up lines, check out my bad reputation…

    Cici’s line, come up and see my spots some time…and I’ll give you nonstop kisses

    actually, when boy dogs come around, she runs away from them.

  10. OMG! should this post be x-rated? 😉 Toto, K9 bwah haha! Lock up your bitches, people (I mean that in the biological sense and not as a trash word, of course.)

    I can’t think of a pickup line for Ms Pea. She’s usually the one getting picked up.

  11. ROTFLMAO! Oh this post is absolutely classic! I love it :0) that is excellent beyond all woof! This will definitelybe going on our Weekly Woof :0) (Still laughing uncontrollably!)

  12. BOL! This is great!! Remember Dug’s line from Up? “My name is Dug. I have just met you and I love you!”

  13. Heinz 57: “I’m 57 different breeds, and each one knows a different doggie-style.”

    Too raunchy???

  14. Oh, wonderful! Never too raunchy (yet). Trying to think of Dachshund – long, firm with varying textures for your pleasure. AAGH! :).

  15. These are fantastic – you have outdone yourself this time, Pamela! I think the drug sniffing dog might be my favorite.

    How about an additional St. Bernard line? “You know what they say about dogs with big paws…”

  16. I’m just guessing that you had a lot of fun coming up with these :) I was trying to come up with something about an Aussie and down under . . .great post!!

  17. Absolutely hysterical !!

  18. OMD I bow to the master. Pamela, you just have IT. You know? I don’t know about pick up lines, but just about any dog can get away with “Isn’t that where everyone sticks their nose?”

  19. Those are hilarious! If they were printed along with pictures, I’d be in sooooo much trouble!

  20. that is hysterical. this one made me LOL: Lassie: “Let’s push Timmy in the well and go off for some just you and me time.”