My dog Honey is not just a pretty face. She has some mad skills.
Can we convince her to adapt them for the boat?
Adapting Dog Skills For The Boat
Let me tell you about some of Honey’s special skills and how I’m hoping she’ll use her powers for good once we move aboard the boat.
Powers of Cute
On land: When we come to road construction or a toll road that’s narrowing from twelve lanes to two, Honey uses her powers of cute to get us into a new lane.
I roll down the window and while the nearest dog-lover driver is distracted making googling eyes at Honey as she looks out the window, we slip into position.
At sea: When a new boat comes into a dock, an unofficial “docking committee” forms—folks telling the newbies what to do and laughing at any dumb mistakes.
Here’s hoping that Honey on deck, with her flowing, golden coat, will give everyone something else to look at.
Especially that mega-yacht owner whose boat is so big he can only park it right next to the fuel dock.
Powers of Gift Giving
On land: When Honey gets excited, she goes looking for a “gift” to present. Usually it’s a large stuffed animal or her Nylabone.
But what if, instead…
At sea: Honey could present fenders or a winch handle?
Now how do we teach her not to start humping a fender we need to keep the boat from hitting another boat or some pilings?
Powers of Cuddling
On land: Honey often sits beside me with her head on my knee. Sometimes, when it’s cold, she’ll lie in a ball on my lap.
It’s better than a sweater. And kibble is cheaper than natural gas.
At sea: On an open boat, it’s easy to lose little items, like hats, to the wind. But at least with Honey to weigh us down, we won’t be going anywhere in a blow.
Powers of Dreadlocks
On land: When Honey gets wet, the hair on her ears turns kinky like it was just taken out of a braid.
Without a television or stereo, combing through her fur to keep it from knotting was quite the entertainment.
At sea: In humid, salty air, Honey’s ear fur will become an ongoing project.
In fact, I wonder if we’ll have time to do anything else?
Powers of Shedding
On land: Swirling tumbleweeds of dog hair follow Honey everywhere she goes.
Luckily, her hair makes great compost and is a soft lining for bird nests.
At sea: Dog hair can clog drains and pumps needed to keep from swamping the boat.
So she’d adapt this power by…by…
Oh crap, we’re f*cked.
You’re Turn: Does your dog have any silly skills that you love?