You’ll find millions of articles about training puppies. But none of them tell you the secrets I’ll share with you here.
When You Get a Puppy, No One Tells You…
You can train a puppy so she NEVER pees in the house. You just can’t do anything else.
Errorless house training relies on liberal use of a crate or your having the attention of a hungry hawk outside a prairie dog convention.
You’ll have the wackiest dreams.
Like that one where you dream you’ll be able to sleep all the way through the night.
The only thing more crazy-making than the deep bark of an adult dog is the high, squeaky yap of a puppy.
If you praise a puppy exuberantly enough for peeing outside after she barked as you stepped out of the shower, your neighbors will finally know how you feel about bikini waxing.
Note to self: get a longer bathrobe.
Everyone wants to pet your puppy. No one wants to help train her, clean up after her, or feed her stuff that won’t have her throwing up in your shoe in an hour.
Everything is a chew toy to a puppy.
A leash. A tie. A remote control. A boob. A Golden Retriever tail.
No one is safe. No one.
The more people who are “watching” a puppy the more trouble she will get into.
“I thought you were watching her.” “I thought you were.”
As many times as you ask in frustration, “Can’t you just grow up?” you’ll feel sad because they grow up so fast.
Your Turn: What are the unwritten rules you’ve learned about puppy training?