15 Ways to Tell If You’re Dog Crazy

Are you dog crazy? How many apply to you?

People are crazy by Cheerful Monk on Flickr.com1. Besides a regular clicker, you also have a click stick, a clicker with wrist band, or a clicker leash.

2. You find bits of dried cheese, salmon jerky, and liver in every jacket pocket, including those you wear for dress up or work.

3. You know what +R stands for.

4. You have autographs from Ian Dunbar, Patricia McConnell, and Turid Rugaas.

5. Every time you see a dog lick his lips on a cute YouTube video, you worry about the stress he must be under.

6. You’ve heard of Treibball, K9 nose work, and Schutzhund and have tried at least one of them.

7. Your dog has better nutrition than you do.

8. When you go out for a swim, the dog’s beach bag is bigger than yours.

9. You’ve invested in a doo-hickey that allows you to easily move tags when you change your dog’s collar.

10. Your favorite exclamation is “Oh My Dog!”

11. You wake up exhausted from shivering all night thanks to your pups hogging the blankets.

12. Every time you see a dog, you involuntarily shout, “Puppy!”, your browser’s home page is
The Daily Puppy, and your theme music is Harry’s Nilsson’s The Puppy Song.

13. You know the difference between a Pembroke and a Cardigan Welsh Corgi.

14. You’ve changed either your wardrobe or your decor to match your dog’s fur.

15. When you sing around the house, you change the lyrics so they’re about your dog:

  • Beyonce’s “All You Fuzzy Puppies”
  • Robert Palmer’s “Bad Case of Loving Duke”
  • Lady Gaga’s “Pupper Face”

Add up the number that are true for you and check to see if you’re Dog Crazy.

10-15 are true: The DSM IV has a diagnosis for you. Oh, and you’re late for a fitting for one of those nice white jackets with the long arms.

5-9 are true:You probably have a mild case of puppy love. A shot of pupacillin should bump up your numbers.

0-4 are true: You just might be a cat.

What was your score? Are you dog crazy? Or just mildly neurotic? Share in the comments.

[image by cheerfulmonk.]
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  1. LOL! Love this, I guess I’ll go get fitted for my beautiful, white straight jacket now:)

  2. I thought I was dog crazy (and my kids do too) but I don’t know half of what you are talking about! LOL

    • Hang around here long enough, Jodi, and you’ll be certifiable in no time. :)

      In the meantime, show your score to your family to prove you’re not nearly as wacky as they thought you were.

  3. Seriously, is there any other way to live? I mean really live?

  4. I would add that you have a lint roller in your car, in your bedroom AND your purse. woo woo woo!

  5. Straight jacket here I come!

  6. Wow, that was a near miss; I got 9 of them. I was certain I’d be certifiable, but I haven’t gotten up the gumption to send away for autographs yet (or the capital to attend conferences)!

    Or maybe it is 10. “Poker face” changes either to “Doberface” or “Boogerface” (Elka gets a lot of eye boogers). Ah well. Padded rooms can be fun if your dog is there too!

  7. I refuse to admit how many of these I’m guilty of…but it’s safe to say the number if higher than ten.

  8. I’m borderline, scored 9 or 11 There were 2 I knew about them but don’t actually do them. I don’t worry about Every nose licker, only the obvious ones, and my Pomeranian doesn’t do shutzhund or nose-work, not really for her breed. BOL!!! I have to admit I do not know what Treiball is.
    Fun quiz!!!

  9. I guess I should also admit I don’t sing at all, so my song choice isn’t an issue, and I don’t holler Puppy! at every dog I see, it is usually being hollered at me. BOL!! I don’t wear clothes to match my dog, people will just have to see the fur, I am usually wearing the dog in a front carrier pouch anyway, so people aren’t normally seeing my clothes. BOL!!

  10. I scored a nine, so I’m borderline neurotic, but just shy of full fledged! I think the most humbling answer for me was that my dog does indeed have a larger beach bag than I do! Perhaps it’s time for an intervention after all…

  11. Erin, Rob, Texas & Bubbles says:

    Yep. Dog Crazy. No doubt about it! LOL!

  12. If you adjusted for a small (and therefore nonbedhogging), nonshedding dog who can’t eat treats and doesn’t go swimming I would probably fit the crazed profile. I love (or hate) #5: I can never look at YouTube videos of dogs without checking to see if they’re licking their lips in nervousness!

  13. According to your quiz, I’m a cat. There are worse things to be (unless your owner and meal source is trapped under a log).

  14. My score was 8 so your quiz is flawed because I’m definitely dog crazy. Some items were not scored but I think I should get credit for them.

    4. I’ve taken classes from Ian Dunbar and I know who Patricia McConnell and Turid Rugaas are (and own their books/videos).

    5. I look at more body language than just lip licking before I decide the pup is under undue stress.

    9. I don’t have that particular doggie doo-hickey but I have dozens of others.

    15. I make up songs to sing to my dogs.

    Other indicators (among many):

    According to my mother, my second word as a baby was “dog.” I bought a van so my dogs could ride safely in crates. When I travel I take three times as many crates as dogs – one to stay in the car, one to stay at the showgrounds, and one for the hotel/home where I’m staying.

  15. I have to confess that I will add “vizsla” to songs when I am singing them, Sean does it, too. My friends think I am nuts, but I never get tired of singing “vizsla face” 😀

  16. Can I get my straight jacket in black? I have too black digs and all that fur on my white coat would drive me bonkers. And hey! That doohickey is DARN HANDY and all dog owners, even the sane ones should run out and buy one!

  17. How do I get an autograph from any of those brilliant people in #4? Do you have one??

  18. Oh no! Does this mean I only have puppy love? I know that’s so not true! Darn it! I’m off to buy a licker stick and stuff some salmon jerky into my coat pockets.

    BTW – Care to share what that tag thingy majiggy is? I absolutely HATE changing tags on my dog’s collars!

  19. Love this post! I have to admit, it’s affirming to know I’m not the only one who shouts “puppy!” every time they see a dog. In college, it was the running joke in my sorority – anyone hanging out with me would try to say it before I had a chance because they knew I was going to do it!

    And I am sure it will not shock you to learn that I indulge in #15 on a daily basis… Lady Gaga’s Pupperazzi is a frequent one. It’s also possible that I’ve rewritten the old chestnut “Oh, Donna” to be “Oh, Bella.” Per Bon Jovi, Bella is a stinky pup and gives dogs a bad name. I also modify cheers that I learned in elementary school to include Bella’s name. Many walks were spent modifying “Red hot, this team is red hot” to make it about Bella. (Also: B-B-B with an E! E-E-E with an L! L with an L! L with an A! Go Bella!)

    My personal favorite for some reason, is Karma Chameleon, which has become “Bella Bella Bella Bella Bella Chameleon…”

    I could go on. But I won’t.

  20. Did you make this up? #13??? Well, I know a few people who better know that one now. :)

    Oh, and BTW, I’m a cat. SURPRISE!

  21. Cute list! It makes me feel better when I get strange looks from people in the park for actually knowing what breed their dog is. Love it!