13 Reasons I’m Jealous of My Dog

Honey the Golden Retriever with a Collie the Dog Park

You should be jealous of me. I’m pretty darn awesome!
Besides, I got the ball.

Sure, I love her.

But sometimes I just want to be her.

I’m Jealous of My Dog

Even when there’s frost on the ground, Honey can go out barefoot.

We were both kept up all night by the mice. But she gets to sleep in.

Leaving her things all over the floor is considered cute.

Maybe blonds really do have more fun.

She missed all the bad music of the 1980s and has never heard of Tears for Fears.

No matter how cold it gets, she’s already dressed in ear flaps and a fur coat.

If Honey does something rude, everyone blames me.

She never gets email.

Honey always has an excuse for not going to boring events—she’s a dog.

No one ever tries to argue her out of her political beliefs.

Why can’t I play with squeaky toys? They look so fun.

My husband never spontaneously says of me, “Look how cute she is!”

Honey never finds my hair all over her bed.

Is My Dog Jealous of Me?

Of course, I do have one advantage over her.

I can pee whenever I want to. Bwa ha ha ha. Bwa hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Are you jealous of your dog? Or is your dog jealous of you?

Update:

Vote for Honey in the Heart Like a Dog Calendar Contest. Why?

Because you’re a good person who wants to help people.

And, if Honey ends up in the calendar, I’ll buy more for friends which means more help goes to our blogging friends from Life with Desmond (Lauren’s family home flooded during Hurricane Sandy) and Champion of My Heart (Roxanne’s dog, Lily, is going through a slow recovery from a vaccine related reaction).

So Go. Vote. Now.

Enter Giveaway

You have a short time to enter for a chance to win The Things You Find on the Appalachian Trail: A Memoir of Discovery, Endurance and a Lazy Dog.

Enter the contest now.
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Comments

  1. But…when dogs go out they can pee WHEREVER THEY WANT TO! I’m jealous of that!

    I am also jealous of the “fur coat!”

  2. I guess it goes both ways. I am certain they would like to eat whenever they want.

  3. You mean, you don’t play with squeaky toys? Oh… Oops.

    Mostly I am just jealous that my dog doesn’t have to go to work. I love my job but if I didn’t need the money, I’d much rather stay home and nap all day. I have a feeling though Shiva would trade places with me if she could. After all, I can open the refrigerator. Mwahahahaha! 😉

  4. Good luck, Honey! Hope your gorgeous photo is selected for the calendar!

  5. Bad music from the ’80s?! What!?

    I think my dogs are jealous that I don’t have to go out into the elements to go to the bathroom. And I’m glad I don’t either especially on frosty cold mornings like today.

  6. Yes but Honey gets to pee without taking her pants off. ha ha ha

    Still having the mice issue? We had to resort to the snap traps, honestly I hated it but they multiply too damn fast!

  7. I just voted for Honey.
    BJ is jealous of me because I can eat cookies and food whenever I want and as much as I want.
    … i can go out whenever I want.

  8. There are definitely a lot of reasons to envy dogs! I think there are a few advantages to being human, but I wouldn’t mind being a dog on a lot of days — usually Mondays!

    I just came from voting! I think that’s going to be one awesome calendar!

  9. That’s a cute list, love it! Off to visit the voting page now. :)

  10. Aw, come on, Tears for Fears wasn’t ALL bad. They did songs that people made good covers of, anyway…..

  11. All great reasons to be jealous of a dog… I think I might be jealous of Boomer and Dottie, they have everything their little hearts desire… except for the peeing when they want thing…

  12. Jen is envious of me! She says that most people could care less what she has to say, but people hang onto my every word! woo woo woo!

  13. I’m jealous of my dogs because they don’t have to do a thing! They sleep when they want, they have someone that feeds them and takes care of them and they pretty much rule the house! Yeah…I’m jealous!

  14. Yeah, sometimes I dream of that way of living a life of simple enjoyment, relatively free of agency. Wouldn’t say I’m jealous of them, but hoping that if I spend enough time with them it will rub off:)

  15. hee hee so true!!

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